Showing posts with label Social Security Disability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Security Disability. Show all posts

Thursday, July 1, 2010

SSDI == SAME SHIT DIFFERENT IDIOT

------------------
Date: 4/29/2010 5:20 p
Duration: 13:25
Ssa dc (Work)
1-800-772-1213
------------------
North Eastern Pennsylvania general information line for Social Security.


I was informed that the TN Office (as listed by the state on Document
MCC Change Schedule: Dev 10Aug09) was closed.

TennCare Solutions : 1-800-873-3192.

Even though she claimed to have no information regarding the Health
plan change in Tennessee, she did manage to tell me that any changes
to my benefits are NOT a Social Security issue and told me to call the
IRS.

Refused to give me her Employee ID or reference no. for the call.

Also refused to mail or provide any information regarding federal law
rights to legal representation. [Publication No. 05-10075]

She was brief, bitchy, and apathetic. Too busy to even log the call.
Told me to go to my "local office" if i wish to pick up a copy of the
publication i requested.

The one everyone seems to ignore: the law.
The one that says clear as day, that I do, in fact, have federal law rights.

$44 dollars round trip.  More than my food stamps, but less than my electric bill.
Completely oblivious to federal law and my rights to appeal. Or at
least, did a damn good job pretending.

I don't waste time with idiots.

So time marches on, as my life continues to stand still.
Tic toc...
     tic toc....


www.socialsecurity.gov/disability/appeal


I have six days till day Ten.


Social Security Administration
SSA Publication No. 05-10041
ICN 459260
January 28
--
Sent from my mobile device
Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee
(615) 424-8810

"You may not care how much I know, but you don't know how much I care."


______________________________

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Phuck Phil!



October 30, 2009



Dear Elyssa:

Thank you for your message about reforming the process for determining eligibility for Social Security disability benefits. I appreciate hearing from you, and I certainly understand your interest in this matter.

This is an issue related to the federal government rather than state government. Unfortunately, as Governor, I do not have the ability to intervene in the operations of the federal government. Your comments would be more effectively addressed to your elected federal representatives: the President, one of our two United States Senators, or the Member of Congress who represents you in the United States House of Representatives. I am confident that they would welcome the opportunity to respond to your concerns.

I appreciate your willingness to bring this matter to my attention. As I continue to work for policies that are effective and beneficial to the people of Tennessee, I hope you will feel free to contact me whenever you have problems, suggestions or concerns related to state government.








Warmest regards,



Phil Bredesen



I TRIED NOTING: NUMBER OUT OF SERVICE #FAIL

 

PASSING THE BUCK: JUST STICK PHIL WITH THE BILL original document here!


MODIFIED POST // FOR "TRANSPARENCY"


YES! Another Letter to Congress!



Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee
Cell: (615) 424-8810
ed70@columbia.edu



RE: White House Healthcare Forum
http://www.whitehouse.gov/





February 12, 2009

Dear President Obama & Members of Congress:

There are widespread reports that Phil Bredesen, Governor of Tennessee is being considered for a position with the Department of Health and Human Services in Washington, DC.

As someone who has lived and voted in the state of Tennessee since 1996, I have witnessed several shifts in policy, both on the local and federal levels. I am a recipient of TennCare, Social Security, and a member of the Daniels Class.

Governor Phil Bredesen has no place in Washington. Please remove his name from consideration for a cabinet position with HHS.

Order Setting Aside Daniels Daniels Court Doc


Governor Bredesen is currently "holding off on spending" until he learns what federal aid will become available to the residents of Tennessee. I am urging you to take immediate action. PLEASE do SOMETHING! Anything! Sign before it is too late.


Even under of the best of economic circumstances, the state has often been reluctant to release state monies until they are in physical receipt of all federal matching dollars. This delays program implementation and compromises the integrity of the research design. Consistency is a critical component of effective program development and design.

Governor Bredesen had decided to hold back state funds until the final details of the stimulus package worked out, were finalized. Anyone who has followed the healthcare crisis in Tennessee will tell you, Bredesen is not the champion of healthcare we once hoped he would be.


If we hold off on making decisions about the state budgets until the details of this enormous, comprehensive package are finalized, our current programs will suffer as a result.

We cannot wait for a determination regarding federal funding before we to determine our state budget while before we of the programs we already are suffering financially.

Let me assure you that when it comes to withholding critical items like food, housing, social services, it adds up exponentially. Withholding medical care simply because of procedure and bureaucratic red tape, is shameful and cruel. The money is there, but it seems there should be a certain level of oversight and accountability if we expect it to be used effectively without delay and without excessive administrative delay and costs.

How do I know this? Because I used to work for the state during the time when they not only made the as they were transitioning to during the transition from I used to work for TennCare,

We need to have some level of accountability to ensure the timely and proper disbursement of funds. In my experience, there is little recourse for person’s individuals who are caught up in the complicated payment arrangements, complicated language, and the systematic, procedural delay when it comes to the processing and payment of claims.


Let me personally assure you, that there is a very real human cost here as well... and unless there is immediate intervention, much more than just money will be lost.

Please sign the bill before any more jobs, homes, and future are ruined by because help did not fast enough. Please release the funds, because we are running out of time.

I am 36, and my spinal cord is damaged from years of delayed, sub-standard medical treatment as I attempted to navigate a system that simply does not work. I owe the federal government $179,982.00 in student loans. When I am able to work, I make $10.46/hour as a substitute teacher in MNPS. That job comes with no security and no benefits.

I have an advanced master’s degree from an Ivy League Institution. I am eight credits shy of a Ph.D. in "Policy Development & Program Evaluation" aka: public policy. Despite having maintained a 3.83 grade point average while earning my masters and just over 3.2 during the three years I was enrolled full time in a doctoral program.

Despite having comparable coverage, the insurance company refused to give me COBRA and would not cover my pre-existing condition even through both Columbia and Vanderbilt Universities used the same underwriter for student medical insurance: Chickering US HealthScare.

I had no break in coverage and even purchased a private HMO (Oxford) plan that cost several hundred dollars each month just so I could prevent becoming uninsurable before my 23rd birthday.

Wrong. Not only did I continue to pay for all three policies, I also had to pay for treatment and STILL wound up on TennCare and Medicaid.

Despite doing all the "right" things, I was still unable to transfer benefits from one graduate school to the next.

When I was twenty-two years old I developed a medical condition, and it quickly became obvious to me that it would be a lifelong struggle to cope and adapt to having physical disability. I purchased three independent policies, however due to a terminal liability in am ERISA plan, with $1 million dollar major medical policy. As someone who also needed to turn to federal funds and intervention in a crisis, I know that if or when help does arrive, it usually too late.



I understand the how; I just don't understand why.

Maybe one of these days Vanderbilt University and the Department of Education will realize it might just be cheaper to hire me that harass me. I need a real paying job now, but with the skyrocketing unemployment rate, it looks as though I will have a lot of competition.

Throughout the three year process of filing medical appeal after the next, I acquired over 1/4 million dollars in debt in unreimbursed medical care and student loans. I was fortunate enough be able t keep my TennCare that time—only because the state mandated a 30 hour work week, because at 32 hours, your benefits kick in.

Even while in the states employ, I witnessed a pattern of behavior that was reckless and harmful to the citizens of Tennessee. In fact, there were so many changes during short time I was there the time I was there that even my colleagues in the office of consumer affairs did not know about them until we were a formal complaint had been filed by a consumer in crisis.

There was so much chaos in the system because consumers and were not given sufficient information and the state was completely unprepared to respond to the large number of people who their benefits terminated, limited, or transferred. It took several months to update the medical database used to verify insurance coverage, and many more to get that information in sync with pharmacies and providers. Recipients were left in the dark, probably because it was easier that way.

State of Tennessee CONSUMER AFFAIRS  http://www.tennessee.gov/


Although I doubt many people people outside of Tennessee are aware of the harsh policies enacted during the Bredesen administration. His endless assault on the state’s Medicaid & Medicare programs resulted in 271,000 people to be dropped off the roles. People who are uninsurable or cannot afford health insurance. He has requested multiple federal waiver to limit federal law rights under the Medicaid Act, and Social Security beneficiaries. Is not the kind of man we want to lead HHS into a new era of reform. He has demonstrated a wanton disregard for the welfare of his own constituents should not be rewarded with a cabinet position in the new administration. He has failed this state, and now it costing money. Where it will come from, I don't know. Perhaps he will turn to the feds.

SSA Form 9SORRY FOLKS ~> ERROR! GRRR! GO TO ORIGINAL DOCUMENT FOR EMBEDDED FORMS >:-/

Now, again, I face losing my healthcare coverage once again. Please do something, and do it quick. I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy,

Unemployment rates in the state of Tennessee are at an all-time high, yet welfare roles have remained stable. This tells us that despite the financial crisis and sad state of the Tennessee economy, people are not able to access emergency aid that we would expect people to receive in times of economic hardship.

Where is the safety net? Where is the American Dream that I so diligently chased after for so many years? What was the point of investing so much in a future that I can never enjoy? How can anyone justify spending so money much on an education that will never be used?

What will happen when the state begins the 140,000 members of the Daniels Class? DHS has not been able to process the applications already on file. As the unemployment rate continues to go up, we need to be sure that applications for emergency assistance are processed within a reasonable period.

I have no idea how they intend to handle the growing number of unemployed, uninsured, people in need of emergency assistance given that they are already overwhelmed by the number of applications already on file. Is it a really a good time to start the recertification of the 140,000 members of the Daniels Class?
Let us hope the state is not granted another federal waiver or we are all in trouble.


Sincerely yours,


Elyssa Durant
Nashville, TN



Previously Posted as "we are so screwed. phil opts out of all options"

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Disability Redetermination in Progress


now ain't that just a bitch... thanks, daddy. i love you too. maybe i can crash at your place for a while if i lose my own.  do you really need the money that badly? 


The 3rd Circuit



11/19/09: Social Security: No check recieved. 
So much for the check being 
"in the mail."


~VERITAS~ 



I Can Tweet My Ass Off... What Can YOU Do?



The new Consumer Action Handbook - This guide from the Federal Citizen Information Center can help with your consumer problems and questions. Find help on such topics as buying and leasing cars, shopping from home and protecting your privacy and yourself from fraud.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Is Self Sufficiency Possible for Social Security Recipients


I composed my thoughts a little more, and will schedule with my pcp asap. My father sent me a text yesterday threatening to have me committed unless I just get over it already. He doesn't get it. If I refuse just "get over it" to try to get my benefits back, he will withhold my "allowance" even longer.

The material and financial loss resulting from the Centerstone situation is totally irrelevant to him, since I don't bother telling him that I had dropped down to 94 pounds when he left the country for two months and I ran out of food because he didn't send any money while he was gone.



He still has not paid my electric, rent, or other utilities, and I paid my medical and phone myself, electric reconnect myself since he never bothered to have it turned off when I got evicted over the $4.50 late fee.


All I need is the form to reverse the rep payee decision from SSA. I'm pretty sure a judge would remove him immediately if they the correspondence, but then I would have no one to represent me at all.


I have heard the rumors, and I know that several lawyers in town called him to tell him that I was "embarrassing myself by things I said on FaceBook."

He's on FaceBook, and he knows all about the poverty and gunfire I reported. Adam Dread told me to go the airport and he would call my father to try and "talk things out" the way lawyers do.  Well, fuck you, Adam! When you told me to "go home to the city I where I was born" and  went through the trouble of making sure there was no "conflict of interest for you to try have a "man-to-man" discussion with my pops?

I had no idea don't what on earth made me trust the sob, but hind sight is 20-20, and trust me... you are NO super lawyer... [more details and direct quotes to follow.... i gotta hit the welfare office] 

.... but he told me return to the city I was born, while he worked it out that I could get paid from the event I did for the Inaugural Ball. Obviously, that never happened so after 3 hrs, the police showed up.





They took me to mobile crisis where I placed in a room by myself for 20 minutes in handcuffs on the floor. They would not even get me a glass of water or juice and since I had been in my car for almost 36 hrs since the shooting, I was quite dehydrated.



Also, received a letter from DHS yesterday recognizing their mistake, however my father told me he does times my conversations to under 2 minutes.


Emails must be 100 words or less. We all know that not possible for me.


I finally picked up my medication and cut stretched my script for 2.5 months since it cost $59.99 out of pocket. Because my father places limits on how much I can spend on medication, I can't even tell you what a slap in the face it is to finally purchase my medication only to find my account overdrawn since I didn't realize I wouls now be resposbible for additional late fees on top of all the other fucked up crap I've had to deal with. 


I dont argue with about the money, but I do take issue with my being paid late so that I become responsible for the late or reactivation fees.

 

I have the name of a therapist two specialists in this type of trauma. One MD, one PsyD who has a masters. Neither accept TennCare. 

 

Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs

 

I need to fill out and fax forms and my printers sat in the rain at Dabbs for days.  It costs $2.50 /pg at kinkos and I already spent my entire monthly allowance on food gas and medicine.



Any suggestions?



EDITORIAL NOTE: 11/21/2009

I STILL NOT RECEIVED A CENT OF THE DISABILITY PAYMENT DEPOSITED INTO A BUSINESS [IOTOLA] ACCOUNT LISTED UNDER THE NAME DURANT & DURANT.


I HAVE NO "STUFF."  AS PROMISED, MY MY FATHER DID NOT MOVE AN INCH OR A CENT TO HELP ME REGARDLESS OF HIS CONTRACTUAL OBLGATION TO ACT IN MY BEST INTERESTS TO PROTECT MY HEALTH AND FINANCIAL STABILITY.  


I HAVE $O DOLLARS IN MY BANK ACCOUNT, HAVE NOT THIS MONTHS RENT, ELECTRIC,  OR PHONE. I HAVE $2 IN FOOD STAMPS AND $7.00 CASH TO LAST THE MONTH.  ONE AGAIN, HE MANAGED TO SHOW ME WHO IS BOSS AT THE HOLIDAYS.


FOOL ME ONCE... 


I DON'T KNOW WHAT I "DID" TO MY PARENTS TO MAKE THEM TREAT ME WITH SUCH INDIFFERENCE, SO PLEASE DON'T BOTHER TO ASK. BUT IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT I DID, I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW... 


THAT'S ALL FOR NOW FOLKS. MY HANDS ARE ICE COLD, AND SLEEPING IN MY CAR OR ON THIS STUPID AIR MATTRESS HAS DEFINITELY TAKEN IT'S TOLL. THE PAIN IS BACK.  I SUPPOSE IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, IT IS MY HEART, MY FAITH, AND MY HOPE THAT WILL HURT THE MOST.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

I AM REMINDED ALL TOO WELL OF THE DAY I STARTED THIS BLOG... TWO YEARS AGO TO THE DAY.  WHEN I DECIDED TO STOP BEING A VICTIM...

AFTER BEING LEFT AT THE AIRPORT ONN THANKSGIVING DAY.


"I FEEL LIKE I'M LIVING THE WORST DAY OVER AND OVER. AND EVERY IS THE WORST DAY  EVER... 

EVERY DAY IS THE WORST DAY EVER.


THE WORST DAY EVER."


WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.  AND IT NEVER EVER ENDS...






"I got no pace to go, I've got no where to run.

I'm sick of this waiting, so go on and take your shot. You can sit there and judge me... say what you want to.

I'm a nightmare, a disaster. That's what they always said, but I'll make it on my own.

I'm a lost cause, not a hero. But I'll make it on my own.

I've got to prove them wrong.

It's me against the world."

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Identity Theft: It's Personal




There are a lot of things in the financial world I don’t understand. Some are due to my ignorance, such as retirement plans or hedge funds. Others simply don’t make sense.


One such example was having my tax return rejected from the IRS year after year after year. It was only recently that I learned this was due to the fact that someone had already filed a tax return using my social security number.


I made countless calls to the IRS, and although they were eventually able to identify the person who had been using my social security number fraudulently, they refuse to tell me who that person was.


Without that information, I was left spinning in a world of chaos. Without that information, I was unable to file a police report for identity theft or recover any damages. It took the IRS 9 months to send my refund, something that most people receive in less than 2 weeks.


So, after about a decade of this situation, and going through the motions year after year, to provide alternative forms of Income verification, I think I am well within my rights to be a little agitated.


This year I planned to file for an extension since it was my understanding that several other related issues are being investigation so I could finally put an end to this madness.


Now I don't have much money, in fact I don't have any, but I find white collar crime despicable and repulsive.


When taken into account the substantial cost to society, not to mention the havoc it wreaked on my life, I respectfully think that maybe you should not assume that someone is making false claims just because you don't think it sounds "right."


Lots of things don't "sound right" however that doesn't mean they aren't true. Gotta go now, I have a date with eBay to auction my social security card to the highest bidder. Clearly, it is not worth anything to me so long as the authorities fail to do their part in ENFORCING the laws associated with Identity theft. 

Sure, it is easy to blame the victim as being irresponsible or somehow negligent in these situations, however I will refer you to some fascinating research that has been done on the emotional consequences of Identity theft. The cost is far more than just an issue of financial discomfort; it is something that can ultimately leave you questioning your own identity.


It should be noted that Identity theft is a criminal matter, so whatever costs associated with such events, the victim is not reimbursed for any of the costs associated with having their life disrupted by something that is ultimately completely beyond their control.


It happens more often than you think, and it is a complicated, intricate, and time intensive to resolve such crimes... To be continued...


edd, edm.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile 

ORIGINAL POST 2009-08-09 12:45

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Whole Story: Where I Stand Now

Part I: Insurance Department: File Number #95-192-1535


I would like to review the merits of an Insurance Investigation that ultimately ruled in my favor that concluded on April 16, 1996. File No. 95192-07586

Unfortunately, this is a very complicated case that involves tax and insurance fraud, because I recently learned that for the last 14 years, my parents have been using my social security number to claim as (1) an employee -- thus covered under an ERISA beneficiary plan that I have never been able to access and (2) was claimed as a dependent on my mother's NY State tax return for many years making impossible for me to file taxes or obtain insurance, disability benefits, or student financial aid since neither parent is willing to release a copy of their return.

I filed a complaint with the Pennsylvania Insurance Department in 1995, and received response six moths after the policy had expired. Despite the considerable evidence I provided to the Insurance Dept. and Pennsylvania Blue Shield, I was told that despite the overwhelming evidence that I provided, Blue Shield / Insurance Dept.] did not have the authority to override the terms of the contract. I did not collect any damages of mandatory federal fines, because I could not do that without legal assistance.

Since ERISA mandates that all beneficiaries (including insured dependents) be given a copy of the policy (among other forms of insurance identification, e.g., EOBs, Insurance ID C, and a copy of the policy, my requests for ERISA mandated materials were repeatedly denied until Jason Manne made a Title IV-D request from the Pennsylvania Dept. of Public Welfare. After sending a letter to Pensylvania Blue Shield, my insurance carrier to inform them that they in accordance with federal law, they must honor my request for a copy of the insurance policy.

The insurance Department came to the same conclusion: that my rights under federal law had been violated, but because this situation was unprecedented in the state of Pennsylvania, it took approximately 9 months before BCBS decided to send me the necessary documentation. In addition, my plan had expired, and BCBS refused to honor my request for COBRA continuation (which would have been extended from 18 months to 36 since I was disabled at the time of the qualifying event plan supporting my initial request for federally mandated information in accordance with ERISA 4236.

Blue Shield refused to honor my request for COBRA continuation and / or a reassignment of benefits so those providers could be reimbursed directly. According to their attorney, Tija Hilton-Phillips, they had no obligation to provide me with any information about COBRA continuation and shifted the burden of responsibility onto the plan administrator and/or fiduciary. In addition to having the terms of my policy falsified in writing, I was unable to identify the plan administrator of fiduciary. Since federal law requires that all plans be filed with the Dept. of Labor, I contacted them on multiple occasions and wrote several letters requesting a copy of claims made under the policy, the plan fiduciary, administrator, and the specific type of ERISA plan (e.g., self-insured) that was on filed in accordance with federal law. Again, my verbal requests were denied. I then sent a written request to the regional office in Philadelphia but again, received no response.

Washington requests in Washington in accordance with federal law. , e.g., self-insured, their assistance in (with information Furthermore, the Dept. of Labor requesting this information were never answered. I never found out the name of the plan administrator or the fiduciary, and was never offered COBRA continuation, and then BCBS refused to let me continue under COBRA, claiming they were not obligated to offer it to... so who is ultimately held accountable in these situations.


When I first filed this complaint against BCBS, each agency denied responsibility despite the overwhelming evidence that I had provided. Although I was only 22 at the time, I spent my days and nights reading up on insurance, labor and employment law, and subsequently came to believe that aside from violating my natural rights, I had been denied due process protections and requested legal assistance from advocacy organizations in New York, Pennsylvania and Tennessee. I was unable to find any one who would take my claims seriously, and could not find anyone to take my case pro-bono or on contingency. Eventually, I moved to Nashville, TN and tried to recover from the physical injuries and the new emotional scars that left me cynical and bitter about a judicial system that consistently fails to enforce natural and human rights.


Everyone I spoken to thus far reiterates the same statement-- practically verbatim, "I sympathize with your dilemma, yet, as you know, our office does not have the jurisdiction to assist you in this matter." I sought the assistance of an attorney at Shnaeder Harrison years ago (regarding Pennsylvania Act 62) and Jason Manne in the Dept. of Public Welfare.

Although I may be biased, I believe this case has substantial social merit and long standing implications for children in the state of Pennsylvania. I am a reputable witness, and have 5 years of doctoral studies under my belt in the field of social policy.

I have been unsuccessful in my search for a competent litigator (unfortunately, this is an unprecedented case that touches on all the hot issues before the 3rd circuit including ERISA and the State's interest in Equal Educational Opportunity and due process protections for children (and adults) who are "victimized twice... first by their parents, and then, again by a judicial system who fails to protect them" (it's been a while, but I believe that is a paraphrase of the dissenting opinion from Justice Montemuro in Curtis v. Klein.)

In many ways, I feel it is too late for me to recover what I lost due to a snag in the law and a few loopholes in the system. I have collected evidence for over 14 years because I used to believe that justice might prevail.

If she has an interest in looking bold into the face of police corruption, I would like to share my story (and the documents) to be sure no other child in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania falls victim to such heinous crimes due to legal technicalities from an outdated piece of legislation. It has been 14 years since my case was “abandoned” by the state judicial system in the Philadelphia Court of Common Pleas. It is time to have these loop holes closed for good and ensure equal protection under the law for all children—not just those who are lucky enough to have a fair hearing or be heard before they reach the age of majority.

With the support and inspiration, I received from some very kind and brilliant professors in sociology and social policy, plan to submit a book proposal to document the sequence of events that still astound me and curious onlookers who take a quick peek as they casually pass in and out of my life. You see, it is much like a traffic accident-- people like to take comfort in seeing the tragedy of a broken man and his family demonstrating the social injustices and inequity resulting from a stratified society where only "violent" criminals or those who commit acts that violate or impede the natural rights of others are not taken seriously by the judicial system or the public at large. Unaware of the consequences that arise from dual standards in the worst of academic snobbery and intellectual elitism -- living a lifestyle they might otherwise envy.

I would appreciate assistance in restoring my social security number and account so that I do not have live in constant fear. If that means either relocating to another country and/or having my name and social security number changed or restored, it is probably well worth the inconvenience if it means there is still hope for living a peaceful existence.

Part II: Duplication of Benefits: Medicaid to the Rescue
The Application and Appeal for Disability Benefits

I remember how difficult it was for me to obtain benefits when I first applied several years ago. I am deeply concerned about how the most recent decision to eradicate yet another class of TennCare / Medicaid recipients (the Daniels class made up of SSI recipients by way of a pending federal waiver) will affect the poor and disabled residents in Tennessee. Without my current level of benefits, I simply do not function.


Before my benefits were stabilized, learning to navigate the system consumed every waking moment of my life. I was unable to work or attend school on any substantial level and I am frightened to see at might happen if I were to stray from my established, stabilized, treatment plan. If I lose my benefits, will I still be able to work? To function? To be productive?


Any new public program requires careful planning if it is to be effective. Recent discussions have not focused on the true impact these changes will have on the "street-level."


Has anyone asked recipients how they feel the new program (safety- net) should be designed, implemented, or evaluated? How will this impact the community and other social service or welfare agencies??? I want access, quality, and outcomes. I want... I want... I want!!!


The massive number of people being dis-enrolled or limited in their access to medical care and other social services will no doubt create significant anxiety, confusion, and chaos for everyone involved in the social service and health care industries.


I remember when Mr. Brian Lapps was somewhere very high up on the corporate TennCare ladder in 1999 when they adjusted the prescription formulary over Memorial Day in 1999. I see Mr. Lapps quite frequently since he now works at the local gas station down the street from where I live.


To this day, he insists that cell phones and TennCare are somehow contraindicated. Perhaps he knows nothing of the population he claims to know just all-too-well... housing conditions that may or may not have electricity, broken families-some riddled with community violence and domestic disturbances. In the hood, your cell phone is your very best friend. 9-1-1.


These people plagued by domestic violence and community instability makes a cell phone the only logical option. How can you find a job with out a phone? How can you find a home with out a job? Yet even 6 years later, Mr. Lapps uses cellular phones as an example how the TennCare program is being abused by lazy, cheap, and unscrupulous second hand citizens who are just shiftless lazy bums waiting around for their next free hand-out.


Anyone who has EVER applied for or relied upon any kind of government subsidy to have their basic needs met, e.g., food, shelter, medical care, dental treatment, etc... let me personally assure you that there has never been a single time where I felt I was "pulling one over" on the government. I am not just one of the poor saps who believed what they told me they in school, I bought it hook, line, and sinker for the mere price of $152,718.130 and not a shred of financial security to show for it.


Even after consolidating my student loans, the interest alone is $10 less than my monthly income from social security.


Tennessee is in the process of applying for yet ANOTHER federal waiver to eliminate the "Daniels" class of Medicaid recipients-- the poorest and sickest of all. SSI Recipients. Can you live on $623.00 / month? Can anyone?


So what happens now that the state of Tennessee will begin to cut off social security recipients from TennCare? I honestly do not think I can survive yet another re-certification process-- God knows the first one almost killed me. After three years of appeals, my condition had deteriorated so severely that I was forced to drop out of school, lost my home, lost my sanity, and lost hope. In short-- I lost my dignity and my belief in the social welfare system.


By the time my benefits were approved, I had already checked myself in to NYU Psych Ward because simply could not cope with the reality of what my life I had become. I weighed 94 pounds and suffered in excruciating pain that has only gotten worse with time. My extremities were ice cold, and my hands were numb since I went without medical treatment for the spinal injury that was first discovered when I was 22.


I am now 36 years old. My spinal cord is now damaged from years of delayed, sub-standard medical treatment. I owe the federal government $179,982.00 in student loans and when I am able to work, I make $10.46 / hour as a substitute teacher in an urban school district. That job comes with no security and no benefits. It does however offer the flexibility I need to receive the bi-monthly epidural injections and other procedures necessary to manage my pain and alleviate the numbness I feel because of the damage to my nerves. And even though I cannot afford the gas money to get my appointments, pay for all of my medication, or even to get back and forth to work, it does allow me a few weeks of mobility so I can drive, use my mouse or hold a pen.


I have an advanced master's degree from an Ivy League Institution. I am 12 credits shy of a PhD in public policy. And despite maintaining a 3.83 grade point average while completing an advanced masters in social and educational policy at an, "Ivy League" institution; a 3.2 GPA during the 3 years I spent working on my doctorate at a not-quite-so-prestigious Graduate School; The Powers That Beat in that damn Ivory Tower don't will not grant me any leniency by extending the amount or time permitted to complete my degree-- a rule that was changed while I was on a formal leave of absence tending to my health (and my Medicaid appeals!). Not only did they decide 8 years was the rule instead of the 10 it had been previously, I was also told that I could not even transfer the credits I had earned toward a different degree towards another program at the same institution. It has been just over ten years since I first enrolled. What a mistake that was!


The "Harvard of the South" no longer officers the degree to which I was admitted-- and enrolled so they actually suggested that I pay for a 3rd application to the school (I was admitted into two degrees-- the MPP as well as the PhD program in a separate college) requiring two independent applications, fees, transcripts, test scores, even way back when I was still considered a promising candidate. Now "they" think it is reasonable to ask that I do it all over again??? It goes without saying that I do not have the financial resources available to finish my last semester, take the GREs or GMATs one more time, or even the money to release my transcripts from the Graduate School into any other program at the same University, I guess I am just shit out of luck.


To be clear, WE ARE ALL PAYING for that student debt because I can assure you that their endowment is far greater than any income or earning potential I have given my current financial status and student loan debt! To be clear, YOU ARE ALL PAYING to keep me on Welfare. Yes, all of us are paying some price..... We I want to work. I want to be productive. I want to be a part of something greater than myself. I want to share what I've learned.


So throughout the years I struggled to stay in school, believing somehow that social justice would prevail, and my heart and dedication towards the greater good would show through to whomever, wherever, or whatever that could make my degree worth while-- the Medicaid and disability applications managed to take front seat. So as I filed appeal after appeal after appeal, I managed to acquire well over 1/4 million (yes-- MILLION) dollars in debt due to uninsured medical expenses and student loans. Despite having 3 Major Medical insurance policies, I still went bankrupt applying for Medicaid. Morally Bankrupt.


My life will never be the same. My heart will never be the same. I want to pay my bills on time. I want to get off welfare, but no one ever taught me how to be poor.


So after all this-- now I face losing my healthcare once again? Where is the safety net? Where is the American Dream that I so diligently chased after for so many years? What was the point spending so much on an education that will never be utilized? I understand the how; I just don't understand why.


Maybe one of these days Vanderbilt University or and the Department of Education will realize it might just be cheaper to hire me that harass me, because unless I find a real paying job soon, their collections department will no longer be able to reach me on that extravagant lifeline my friend, Brian Lapps, refers to as a luxury.


If anyone on your staff would like to "trade places" with me for one month-I will gladly assume his/her responsibilities for that position if you can find a writer who is willing to endure and write about the reality of social services in our fine state. I do not want a paycheck from your organization; I just want the opportunity to put the myth of freeloading welfare mother s to rest. Live in my shoes for 30 days. Can you find the out? Can you balance my budget and make it work? Can you get the bill collectors of my back? Can you afford Internet service to file state job applications and apply for services online? Can you maintain pride and dignity without feeling the least bit sorry for yourself and the choices you have made?


When I go to the pharmacy, I am humiliated that I do not have the $3.00 necessary for the co-pay on my covered TennCare prescriptions. At least when it was $40 dollars, I was not so damn embarrassed by my lack of funds.


Remind me again why I went to school. Remind me once more why I bother to speak out. Then remind me right now that that there is somebody listening. I cannot be the only one who actually gives a crap. My contact information is listed below.



Part III: The Final Appeal: While Frozen in Time My Life Comes to Halt
An Appalling Appeal: Filed September 11, 2008 [confirmed receipt, as of July 25- it has not been reviewed]


Today I was finally able to submit handed in the appeal I waited over three years to submit. And it is just an APPEAL!

Not even a decision. Not a win, but also not a loss.

The APPEAL has given me the strength to keep going. In part because it shows that I haven't lost and in part because it means that somebody actually listening.

So listen carefully, my friends. It was not too long ago that I had almost everything a young person needs to succeed in this world.

Or maybe not.


As for my most current insurance dispute... I feel that I have done everything humanly possible to be sympathetic towards health care provider who is NOT providing care. I cannot sacrifice my own well being for every bright eyed bushy tailed wanna be who is too stupid to see that I am far from.

I had such a battle this week. It culminated in the end like every other battle I have taken on. I only won because ultimately but we are all losing.

For every underqualifed, health care provider who has NOT provided the adequate, there are many more like me. Alienated just enough to give up on fashion, etiquette and social norms, but not enough to walk from it all.

We are keeping watch. We are taking names, and I for one do not give a rat's ass about "keeping the peace."

Having been on both sides if the proverbial couch, I have the perspective is both enlightening and scary at the same time. I look back and want to say shout "told you so" from the nearest roof top.

Crazy is crazy does... out loud. I may be enjoying this just a little too much.

Sometimes I try to look at this fight, (I meant to say this life) objectively.

I can see my own future, and I can see where it is taking me. I know how it will end it I don't keep up the pace.

It is amazing at how far we will go to have nothing at all.

I have come this far, and on some level I almost enjoy the dance. No. On some level, I actually love the dance.

No. I won't give up now. Because without this turmoil, this means to an end, this demonstration project of futility and determination, and without it, I am nothing at all. I can't lose what I never had. I won’t be another sell-out-- mostly because I don't know how.

I am then the voice of perseverance. I am one voice of perseverance. I am one of 47 million Americans. And today I am I am still fighting the good fight.

This battle; this challenge; this half won war this fight has come to define me. And without that, I am not really much of anything at all...

As someone once told me, if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. I've already fallen, but I sure as shit stand for something.

"... so for now, I write. Maybe later listen. And if there is any justice left in this world, maybe someday, I'll actually live. "

Good night, folks. It is time for that break.

Elyssa Durant
Nashville, Tennessee




Part IV: The Final Outcome
Where I Stand Today? I Have No Fucking Idea



Social Security Informed Me My Coverage Will End Today, July 1, 2009.
This letter was written, at 4:33 EST. Over and Out.

Please summon the angels. I need some good news.

Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee, USA


Latest Update: July 27, 2009
Social Security has extended the deadline, unfortunately local agencies: DHS and MDHA refuse to do the same. Thanks so much Nashville. So glad to be home.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Final Chapter: Where I Stand Now




Part I: Insurance Department: File Number #95-192-1535


I would like to review the merits of an Insurance Investigation that ultimately ruled in my favor that concluded on April 16, 1996. File No. 95192-07586

Unfortunately, this is a very complicated case that involves tax and insurance fraud, because I recently learned that for the last 14 years, my parents have been using my social security number to claim as (1) an employee -- thus covered under an ERISA beneficiary plan that I have never been able to access and (2) was claimed as a dependent on my mother's NY State tax return for many years making impossible for me to file taxes or obtain insurance, disability benefits, or student financial aid since neither parent is willing to release a copy of their return.

I filed a complaint with the Pennsylvania Insurance Department in 1995, and received response six moths after the policy had expired. Despite the considerable evidence I provided to the Insurance Dept. and Pennsylvania Blue Shield, I was told that despite the overwhelming evidence that I provided, Blue Shield / Insurance Dept.] did not have the authority to override the terms of the contract. I did not collect any damages of mandatory federal fines, because I could not do that without legal assistance.

Since ERISA mandates that all beneficiaries (including insured dependents) be given a copy of the policy (among other forms of insurance identification, e.g., EOBs, Insurance ID C, and a copy of the policy, my requests for ERISA mandated materials were repeatedly denied until Jason Manne made a Title IV-D request from the Pennsylvania Dept. of Public Welfare. After sending a letter to Pensylvania Blue Shield, my insurance carrier to inform them that they in accordance with federal law, they must honor my request for a copy of the insurance policy.

The insurance Department came to the same conclusion: that my rights under federal law had been violated, but because this situation was unprecedented in the state of Pennsylvania, it took approximately 9 months before BCBS decided to send me the necessary documentation. In addition, my plan had expired, and BCBS refused to honor my request for COBRA continuation (which would have been extended from 18 months to 36 since I was disabled at the time of the qualifying event plan supporting my initial request for federally mandated information in accordance with ERISA 4236.

Blue Shield refused to honor my request for COBRA continuation and / or a reassignment of benefits so those providers could be reimbursed directly. According to their attorney, Tija Hilton-Phillips, they had no obligation to provide me with any information about COBRA continuation and shifted the burden of responsibility onto the plan administrator and/or fiduciary. In addition to having the terms of my policy falsified in writing, I was unable to identify the plan administrator of fiduciary. Since federal law requires that all plans be filed with the Dept. of Labor, I contacted them on multiple occasions and wrote several letters requesting a copy of claims made under the policy, the plan fiduciary, administrator, and the specific type of ERISA plan (e.g., self-insured) that was on filed in accordance with federal law. Again, my verbal requests were denied. I then sent a written request to the regional office in Philadelphia but again, received no response.

Washington requests in Washington in accordance with federal law. , e.g., self-insured, their assistance in (with information Furthermore, the Dept. of Labor requesting this information were never answered. I never found out the name of the plan administrator or the fiduciary, and was never offered COBRA continuation, and then BCBS refused to let me continue under COBRA, claiming they were not obligated to offer it to... so who is ultimately held accountable in these situations.


When I first filed this complaint against BCBS, each agency denied responsibility despite the overwhelming evidence that I had provided. Although I was only 22 at the time, I spent my days and nights reading up on insurance, labor and employment law, and subsequently came to believe that aside from violating my natural rights, I had been denied due process protections and requested legal assistance from advocacy organizations in New York, Pennsylvania and Tennessee. I was unable to find any one who would take my claims seriously, and could not find anyone to take my case pro-bono or on contingency. Eventually, I moved to Nashville, TN and tried to recover from the physical injuries and the new emotional scars that left me cynical and bitter about a judicial system that consistently fails to enforce natural and human rights.


Everyone I spoken to thus far reiterates the same statement-- practically verbatim, "I sympathize with your dilemma, yet, as you know, our office does not have the jurisdiction to assist you in this matter." I sought the assistance of an attorney at Shnaeder Harrison years ago (regarding Pennsylvania Act 62) and Jason Manne in the Dept. of Public Welfare.

Although I may be biased, I believe this case has substantial social merit and long standing implications for children in the state of Pennsylvania. I am a reputable witness, and have 5 years of doctoral studies under my belt in the field of social policy.

I have been unsuccessful in my search for a competent litigator (unfortunately, this is an unprecedented case that touches on all the hot issues before the 3rd circuit including ERISA and the State's interest in Equal Educational Opportunity and due process protections for children (and adults) who are "victimized twice... first by their parents, and then, again by a judicial system who fails to protect them" (it's been a while, but I believe that is a paraphrase of the dissenting opinion from Justice Montemuro in Curtis v. Klein.)

In many ways, I feel it is too late for me to recover what I lost due to a snag in the law and a few loopholes in the system. I have collected evidence for over 14 years because I used to believe that justice might prevail.

If she has an interest in looking bold into the face of police corruption, I would like to share my story (and the documents) to be sure no other child in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania falls victim to such heinous crimes due to legal technicalities from an outdated piece of legislation. It has been 14 years since my case was “abandoned” by the state judicial system in the Philadelphia Court of Common Pleas. It is time to have these loop holes closed for good and ensure equal protection under the law for all children—not just those who are lucky enough to have a fair hearing or be heard before they reach the age of majority.

With the support and inspiration, I received from some very kind and brilliant professors in sociology and social policy, plan to submit a book proposal to document the sequence of events that still astound me and curious onlookers who take a quick peek as they casually pass in and out of my life. You see, it is much like a traffic accident-- people like to take comfort in seeing the tragedy of a broken man and his family demonstrating the social injustices and inequity resulting from a stratified society where only "violent" criminals or those who commit acts that violate or impede the natural rights of others are not taken seriously by the judicial system or the public at large. Unaware of the consequences that arise from dual standards in the worst of academic snobbery and intellectual elitism -- living a lifestyle they might otherwise envy.

I would appreciate assistance in restoring my social security number and account so that I do not have live in constant fear. If that means either relocating to another country and/or having my name and social security number changed or restored, it is probably well worth the inconvenience if it means there is still hope for living a peaceful existence.

Part II: Duplication of Benefits: Medicaid to the Rescue
The Application and Appeal for Disability Benefits

I remember how difficult it was for me to obtain benefits when I first applied several years ago. I am deeply concerned about how the most recent decision to eradicate yet another class of TennCare / Medicaid recipients (the Daniels class made up of SSI recipients by way of a pending federal waiver) will affect the poor and disabled residents in Tennessee. Without my current level of benefits, I simply do not function.


Before my benefits were stabilized, learning to navigate the system consumed every waking moment of my life. I was unable to work or attend school on any substantial level and I am frightened to see at might happen if I were to stray from my established, stabilized, treatment plan. If I lose my benefits, will I still be able to work? To function? To be productive?


Any new public program requires careful planning if it is to be effective. Recent discussions have not focused on the true impact these changes will have on the "street-level."


Has anyone asked recipients how they feel the new program (safety- net) should be designed, implemented, or evaluated? How will this impact the community and other social service or welfare agencies??? I want access, quality, and outcomes. I want... I want... I want!!!


The massive number of people being dis-enrolled or limited in their access to medical care and other social services will no doubt create significant anxiety, confusion, and chaos for everyone involved in the social service and health care industries.


I remember when Mr. Brian Lapps was somewhere very high up on the corporate TennCare ladder in 1999 when they adjusted the prescription formulary over Memorial Day in 1999. I see Mr. Lapps quite frequently since he now works at the local gas station down the street from where I live.


To this day, he insists that cell phones and TennCare are somehow contraindicated. Perhaps he knows nothing of the population he claims to know just all-too-well... housing conditions that may or may not have electricity, broken families-some riddled with community violence and domestic disturbances. In the hood, your cell phone is your very best friend. 9-1-1.


These people plagued by domestic violence and community instability makes a cell phone the only logical option. How can you find a job with out a phone? How can you find a home with out a job? Yet even 6 years later, Mr. Lapps uses cellular phones as an example how the TennCare program is being abused by lazy, cheap, and unscrupulous second hand citizens who are just shiftless lazy bums waiting around for their next free hand-out.


Anyone who has EVER applied for or relied upon any kind of government subsidy to have their basic needs met, e.g., food, shelter, medical care, dental treatment, etc... let me personally assure you that there has never been a single time where I felt I was "pulling one over" on the government. I am not just one of the poor saps who believed what they told me they in school, I bought it hook, line, and sinker for the mere price of $152,718.130 and not a shred of financial security to show for it.


Even after consolidating my student loans, the interest alone is $10 less than my monthly income from social security.


Tennessee is in the process of applying for yet ANOTHER federal waiver to eliminate the "Daniels" class of Medicaid recipients-- the poorest and sickest of all. SSI Recipients. Can you live on $623.00 / month? Can anyone?


So what happens now that the state of Tennessee will begin to cut off social security recipients from TennCare? I honestly do not think I can survive yet another re-certification process-- God knows the first one almost killed me. After three years of appeals, my condition had deteriorated so severely that I was forced to drop out of school, lost my home, lost my sanity, and lost hope. In short-- I lost my dignity and my belief in the social welfare system.


By the time my benefits were approved, I had already checked myself in to NYU Psych Ward because simply could not cope with the reality of what my life I had become. I weighed 94 pounds and suffered in excruciating pain that has only gotten worse with time. My extremities were ice cold, and my hands were numb since I went without medical treatment for the spinal injury that was first discovered when I was 22.


I am now 36 years old. My spinal cord is now damaged from years of delayed, sub-standard medical treatment. I owe the federal government $179,982.00 in student loans and when I am able to work, I make $10.46 / hour as a substitute teacher in an urban school district. That job comes with no security and no benefits. It does however offer the flexibility I need to receive the bi-monthly epidural injections and other procedures necessary to manage my pain and alleviate the numbness I feel because of the damage to my nerves. And even though I cannot afford the gas money to get my appointments, pay for all of my medication, or even to get back and forth to work, it does allow me a few weeks of mobility so I can drive, use my mouse or hold a pen.


I have an advanced master's degree from an Ivy League Institution. I am 12 credits shy of a PhD in public policy. And despite maintaining a 3.83 grade point average while completing an advanced masters in social and educational policy at an, "Ivy League" institution; a 3.2 GPA during the 3 years I spent working on my doctorate at a not-quite-so-prestigious Graduate School; The Powers That Beat in that damn Ivory Tower don't will not grant me any leniency by extending the amount or time permitted to complete my degree-- a rule that was changed while I was on a formal leave of absence tending to my health (and my Medicaid appeals!). Not only did they decide 8 years was the rule instead of the 10 it had been previously, I was also told that I could not even transfer the credits I had earned toward a different degree towards another program at the same institution. It has been just over ten years since I first enrolled. What a mistake that was!


The "Harvard of the South" no longer officers the degree to which I was admitted-- and enrolled so they actually suggested that I pay for a 3rd application to the school (I was admitted into two degrees-- the MPP as well as the PhD program in a separate college) requiring two independent applications, fees, transcripts, test scores, even way back when I was still considered a promising candidate. Now "they" think it is reasonable to ask that I do it all over again??? It goes without saying that I do not have the financial resources available to finish my last semester, take the GREs or GMATs one more time, or even the money to release my transcripts from the Graduate School into any other program at the same University, I guess I am just shit out of luck.


To be clear, WE ARE ALL PAYING for that student debt because I can assure you that their endowment is far greater than any income or earning potential I have given my current financial status and student loan debt! To be clear, YOU ARE ALL PAYING to keep me on Welfare. Yes, all of us are paying some price..... We I want to work. I want to be productive. I want to be a part of something greater than myself. I want to share what I've learned.


So throughout the years I struggled to stay in school, believing somehow that social justice would prevail, and my heart and dedication towards the greater good would show through to whomever, wherever, or whatever that could make my degree worth while-- the Medicaid and disability applications managed to take front seat. So as I filed appeal after appeal after appeal, I managed to acquire well over 1/4 million (yes-- MILLION) dollars in debt due to uninsured medical expenses and student loans. Despite having 3 Major Medical insurance policies, I still went bankrupt applying for Medicaid. Morally Bankrupt.


My life will never be the same. My heart will never be the same. I want to pay my bills on time. I want to get off welfare, but no one ever taught me how to be poor.


So after all this-- now I face losing my healthcare once again? Where is the safety net? Where is the American Dream that I so diligently chased after for so many years? What was the point spending so much on an education that will never be utilized? I understand the how; I just don't understand why.


Maybe one of these days Vanderbilt University or and the Department of Education will realize it might just be cheaper to hire me that harass me, because unless I find a real paying job soon, their collections department will no longer be able to reach me on that extravagant lifeline my friend, Brian Lapps, refers to as a luxury.


If anyone on your staff would like to "trade places" with me for one month-I will gladly assume his/her responsibilities for that position if you can find a writer who is willing to endure and write about the reality of social services in our fine state. I do not want a paycheck from your organization; I just want the opportunity to put the myth of freeloading welfare mother s to rest. Live in my shoes for 30 days. Can you find the out? Can you balance my budget and make it work? Can you get the bill collectors of my back? Can you afford Internet service to file state job applications and apply for services online? Can you maintain pride and dignity without feeling the least bit sorry for yourself and the choices you have made?


When I go to the pharmacy, I am humiliated that I do not have the $3.00 necessary for the co-pay on my covered TennCare prescriptions. At least when it was $40 dollars, I was not so damn embarrassed by my lack of funds.


Remind me again why I went to school. Remind me once more why I bother to speak out. Then remind me right now that that there is somebody listening. I cannot be the only one who actually gives a crap. My contact information is listed below.



Part III: The Final Appeal: While Frozen in Time My Life Comes to Halt
An Appalling Appeal: It Was Never Reviewed: Appeal Filed September 11, 2009


Today I was finally able to submit handed in the appeal I waited over three years to submit. And it is just an APPEAL!

Not even a decision. Not a win, but also not a loss.

The APPEAL has given me the strength to keep going. In part because it shows that I haven't lost and in part because it means that somebody actually listening.

So listen carefully, my friends. It was not too long ago that I had almost everything a young person needs to succeed in this world.

Or maybe not.

As for my most current insurance dispute... I feel that I have done everything humanly possible to be sympathetic towards health care provider who is NOT providing care. I cannot sacrifice my own well being for every bright eyed bushy tailed wanna be who is too stupid to see that I am far from.

I had such a battle this week. It culminated in the end like every other battle I have taken on. I only won because ultimately but we are all losing.

For every underqualifed, health care provider who has NOT provided the adequate, there are many more like me. Alienated just enough to give up on fashion, etiquette and social norms, but not enough to walk from it all.

We are keeping watch. We are taking names, and I for one do not give a rat's ass about "keeping the peace."

Having been on both sides if the proverbial couch, I have the perspective is both enlightening and scary at the same time. I look back and want to say shout "told you so" from the nearest roof top.

Crazy is crazy does... out loud. I may be enjoying this just a little too much.

Sometimes I try to look at this fight, (I meant to say this life) objectively.

I can see my own future, and I can see where it is taking me. I know how it will end it I don't keep up the pace.

It is amazing at how far we will go to have nothing at all.

I have come this far, and on some level I almost enjoy the dance. No. On some level, I actually love the dance.

No. I won't give up now. Because without this turmoil, this means to an end, this demonstration project of futility and determination, and without it, I am nothing at all. I can't lose what I never had. I won’t be another sell-out-- mostly because I don't know how.

I am then the voice of perseverance. I am one voice of perseverance. I am one of 47 million Americans. And today I am I am still fighting the good fight.

This battle; this challenge; this half won war this fight has come to define me. And without that, I am not really much of anything at all...

As someone once told me, if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. I've already fallen, but I sure as shit stand for something.

"... so for now, I write. Maybe later listen. And if there is any justice left in this world, maybe someday, I'll actually live. "

Good night, folks. It is time for that break.

Elyssa Durant
Nashville, Tennessee




Part IV: The Final Outcome
Where I Stand Today? I Have No Fucking Idea



Social Security Informed Me My Coverage Will End Today, July 1, 2009.
This letter was written, at 4:33 EST. Over and Out.

I just received a letter from the United States Congress.
Please summon the angels. I need some good news.

Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee, USA

Monday, June 29, 2009

Appealing the Appalling: 9 Months Later

Appealing the Appalling

Today I was finally able to submit handed in the appeal I waited over three years to submit. And it is just an APPEAL! Not even a decision. Not a win, but also not a loss.

The APPEAL has given me the strength to keep going. In part because it shows that I haven't lost and in part because it means that somebody actually listening.

So listen carefully, my friends. It was not too long ago that I had almost everything a young person needs to succeed in this world.

Or maybe not.

As for my most current insurance dispute... I feel that I have done everything humanly possible to be sympathetic towards health care provider who is NOT providing care. I cannot sacrifice my own well being for every bright eyed bushy tailed wanna be who is too stupid to see that I am far from.

I had such a battle this week. It culminated in the end like every other battle I have taken on. I only won because ultimately but we are all losing.

For every underqualifed, health care provider who has NOT provided the adequate, there are many more like me. Alienated just enough to give up on fashion, etiquette and social norms, but not enough to walk from it all.

We are keeping watch. We are taking names, and I for one do not give a rat's ass about "keeping the peace."

Having been on both sides if the proverbial couch, I have the perspective is both enlightening and scary at the same time. I look back and want to say shout "told you so" from the nearest roof top.

Crazy is crazy does... out loud. I may be enjoying this just a little too much.

Sometimes I try to look at this fight, (I meant to say this life) objectively.

I can see my own future, and I can see where it is taking me. I know how it will end it I don't keep up the pace.

It is amazing at how far we will go to have nothing at all.

I have come this far, and on some level I almost enjoy the dance. No. On some level, I actually love the dance.

No. I won't give up now. Because without this turmoil, this means to an end, this demonstration project of futility and determination, and without it, I am nothing at all. I can't lose what I never had. I won’t be another sell-out-- mostly because I don't know how.

I am then the voice of perseverance. I am one voice of perseverance. I am one of 47 million Americans. And today I am I am still fighting the good fight.

This battle; this challenge; this half won war this fight has come to define me. And without that, I am not really much of anything at all...

As someone once told me, if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. I've already fallen, but I sure as shit stand for something.

"... so for now, I write. Maybe later listen. And if there is any justice left in this world, maybe someday, I'll actually live. "

Good night, folks. It is time for that break.

Elyssa Durant
Nashville, Tennessee