Monday, December 21, 2009

looking back.... FAST FORWARD!

Too little too late....



Click to call your member of Congress and demand quality, affordable health care!














Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee
Cell: (615) 424-8810
ed70@columbia.edu


RE: White House Healthcare Forum


February 12, 2009

Dear President Obama & Members of Congress:

There are widespread reports that Phil Bredesen of Tennessee is being considered for a position with the Department of Health and Human Services in Washington, DC.

As someone who has lived and voted in the state of Tennessee since 1996, I have witnessed several shifts in policy, both on the local and federal levels. I am a recipient of TennCare, Social Security, and I a member of the Daniels Class. Governor Phil Bredesen has no place in Washington. Please remove his name from consideration for a cabinet position with HHS.

Order Setting Aside Daniels

Governor Bredesen is currently "holding off in spending" until he learns what federal aid will become available to the residents of Tennessee. I am urging you to take immediate action. PLEASE sign the economic recovery package before it is too late.

Even under of the best of economic circumstances, the state has often been reluctant to release state monies until they are in physical receipt of all federal matching dollars. This delays program implementation and compromises the integrity of the research design. Consistency is a critical component of effective program development and design.

Governor Bredesen had decided to hold back state funds until the final details of the stimulus package worked out, were finalized. Anyone who has followed the healthcare crisis in Tennessee will tell you, Bredesen is not the champion of healthcare we once hoped he would be.

If we hold off on making decisions about the state budgets until the details of this enormous, comprehensive package are finalized, our current programs will suffer as a result.

We cannot wait for a determination regarding federal funding before we to determine our state budget while before we of the programs we already are suffering financially.

Let me assure you that when it comes to withholding critical items like food, housing, social services, it adds up exponentially. Withholding medical care simply because of procedure and bureaucratic red tape, is shameful and cruel. The money is there, but it seems there should be a certain level of oversight and accountability if we expect it to be used effectively without delay and without excessive administrative delay and costs. 

How do I know this? Because I used to work for the state during the time when they not only made the as they were transitioning to during the transition from I used to work for TennCare,
An Appaling Appeal

We need to have some level of accountability to ensure the timely and proper disbursement of funds. In my experience, there is little recourse for person’s individuals who are caught up in the complicated payment arrangements, complicated language, and the systematic, procedural delay when it comes to the processing and payment of claims. How much longer? Appeal Filed 9/9/2008

Let me personally assure you, that there is a very real human cost here as well... and unless there is immediate intervention, much more than just money will be lost.

Please sign the bill before any more jobs, homes, and future are ruined by because help did not fast enough. Please release the funds, because we are running out of time.

I am 36, and my spinal cord is damaged from years of delayed, sub-standard medical treatment as I attempted to navigate a system that simply does not work. I owe the federal government $179,982.00 in student loans. When I am able to work, I make $10.46/hour as a substitute teacher in MNPS. That job comes with no security and no benefits.

I have an advanced master’s degree from an Ivy League Institution. I am nine credits shy of a PhD.D. in public policy. Despite having maintained a 3.83 grade point average while earning my masters, and just over 3.2 during the three years I was enrolled full time in a doctoral program.

Despite having comparable coverage, the insurance company refused to give me COBRA and would not cover my pre-existing condition even through both Columbia and Vanderbilt Universities used the same underwriter for student medical insurance: Chickering US HealthScare.

I had no break in coverage, and even purchased a private HMO (Oxford) plan that cost several hundred dollars each month just so I could prevent becoming uninsurable before my 23rd birthday.

Wrong. Not only did I continue to pay for all three policies, I also had to pay for treatment and STILL wound up on TennCare and Medicaid.

Despite doing all the "right" things, I was still unable to transfer benefits from one graduate school to the next.

When I was twenty-two years old I developed a medical condition, and it quickly became obvious to me that it would be a lifelong struggle to cope and adapt to having physical disability. I purchased three independent policies, however due to a terminal liability in am ERISA plan, with $1 million dollar major medical policy. As someone who also needed to turn to federal funds and intervention in a crisis, I know that if or when help does arrive, it usually too late.

I understand the how; I just don't understand why.
Maybe one of these days Vanderbilt University and the Department of Education will realize it might just be cheaper to hire me that harass me. I need a real paying job now, but with the skyrocketing unemployment rate, it looks as though I will have a lot of competition.

Throughout the three year process of filing medical appeal after the next, I acquired over 1/4 million dollars in debt in unreimbursed medical care and student loans. I was fortunate enough be able t keep my TennCare that time—only because the state mandated a 30 hour work week, because at 32 hours, your benefits kick in.

Even while in the states employ, I witnessed a pattern of behavior that was reckless and harmful to the citizens of Tennessee. In fact, there were so many changes during short time I was there the time I was there that even my colleagues in the office of consumer affairs did not know about them until we were a formal complaint had been filed by a consumer in crisis.

There was so much chaos in the system because consumers and were not given sufficient information and the state was completely unprepared to respond to the large number of people who their benefits terminated, limited, or transferred. It took several months to update the medical database used to verify insurance coverage, and many more to get that information in sync with pharmacies and providers. Recipients were left in the dark, probably because it was easier that way.

Tennessee Department of Mental Health & Developmental Disabilities

Although I doubt many people people outside of Tennessee are aware of the harsh policies enacted during the Bredesen administration. His endless assault on the state’s Medicaid & Medicare programs resulted in 271,000 people to be dropped off the roles. People who are uninsurable or cannot afford health insurance. He has requested multiple federal waiver to limit federal law rights under the Medicaid Act, and Social Security beneficiaries. Is not the kind of man we want to lead HHS into a new era of reform. He has demonstrated a wanton disregard for the welfare of his own constituents should not be rewarded with a cabinet position in the new administration. He has failed this state, and now it costing money. Where it will come from, I don't know. Perhaps he will turn to the feds.

SSA Forms

Now, again, I face losing my healthcare coverage once again. Please do something, and do it quick. I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy,

Unemployment rates in the state of Tennessee are at an all-time high, yet welfare roles have remained stable. This tells us that despite the financial crisis and sad state of the Tennessee economy, people are not able to access emergency aid that we would expect people to receive in times of economic hardship.

Where is the safety net? Where is the American Dream that I so diligently chased after for so many years? What was the point of investing so much in a future that I can never enjoy? How can anyone justify spending so money much on an education that will never be used?
What will happen when the state begins the 140,000 members of the Daniels Class? DHS has not been able to process the applications already on file. As the unemployment rate continues to go up, we need to be sure that applications for emergency assistance are processed within a reasonable period.

I have no idea how they intend to handle the growing number of unemployed, uninsured, people in need of emergency assistance given that they are already overwhelmed by the number of applications already on file. Is it a really a good time to start the recertification of the 140,000 members of the Daniels Class.?

Let us hope the state is not granted another federal waiver or we are all in trouble.

Sincerely yours,


Elyssa Durant
Nashville, TN



Click to call your member of Congress and demand quality, affordable health care!

Friday, December 18, 2009

just another letter to congress... this one's about the jobs bill

I am a resident in the state of Tennessee living in the 5th congressional district. I am urging you to take immediate action. We need jobs NOW!


I urge you sign develop a comprehensive policy to help put America back to work NOW before it is too late.

As someone who has lived and voted in the state of Tennessee since 1996, I have witnessed several shifts in policy, both on the local and federal levels. I am a recipient of TennCare, and I am a member of the Daniels Class and received notification on that my benefits were being terminated. Recently.

Despite the fact that I am 37 years old and have received NO support from my parents since I was a teenager, Legal Aid refused to take my case and told me I would have to ask my parents for money. They refused to make a referral to pro-bono association, and I feel that is denying services based upon my parents socio-economic status and social class is discrimination. I cannot fond assistance from anyone locally and when faced with eviction, I was told. Verbatim, a representative at Metro Fair housing to “accept the fact that you are going to be homeless.”

And homeless I became.

Governor Bredesen is currently has invested 172 million dollars into one county in Tennessee. What about the rest of us? We need jobs too, and we need them now! Holding off until January to pass jobs legislation is too late

Even under of the best of economic circumstances, the state has often been reluctant to release state monies until they are in physical receipt of all federal matching dollars. This delays program implementation and compromises the integrity of the research design. Consistency is a critical component of effective program development and design. If we hold back state funds until the feds work put the details of this enormous, comprehensive package, our current programs will suffer as a result.

We cannot wait for a determination regarding federal funding before us to determine our state budget while before us of the programs we already are suffering financially.

When I was twenty-two years old I developed a medical condition, and it quickly became obvious to me that it would be a lifelong struggle to cope and adapt to having physical disability. I purchased three independent policies, and was still covered under a terminal liability clause under a major medical ERISA (federal) plan. As someone who also needed to turn to federal funds and intervention in a crisis, I know that if or when help does arrive, it usually too late.

That didn't work. Let me assure you that when it comes to withholding critical items like food, housing, social services, it adds up exponentially. Withholding medical care simply because of procedure and bureaucratic red tape, is shameful and cruel. The money is there, but it seems there should be a certain level of oversight and accountability if we expect it to be used effectively without delay and without excessive administrative delay and costs.

We need to have some level of accountability to ensure the timely and proper disbursement of funds. In my experience there is little recourse for persons individuals who get caught up in the complicated payment arrangements, complicated language, and the systematic, procedural delay when it comes to the processing and payment of claims. And let me personally assure you, that there is a very real human cost here as well... and unless there is immediate intervention, much more than just money will be lost.

Please sign the bill before any more jobs, homes, and future are ruined by because help did not fast enough. Please release the funds, because we are running out of time.

I am 37, and my spinal cord is damaged from years of delayed, sub-standard medical treatment. I sometimes wonder why I bothered to waste my time.

I attempted to navigate a system that simply does not work. I owe the federal government $179,902.75 in student loans. I have tried desperately to get find work that will allow me the flexibility I need while allowing me to keep my benefits and earn decent salary.

When I am able to work, I make $10.46/hour as a substitute teacher in MNPS. That job comes with no security and no benefits.

I have an advanced master’s degree from an Ivy League Institution. I am 9 credits shy of a Ph.D. in public policy. Despite having maintained a 3.83 grade point average while earning my masters, and just over 3.2 during the three years I was enrolled full time in a doctoral program.

Despite having comparable coverage, the insurance company refused to give me COBRA and would not cover my pre-existing condition even through both Columbia and Vanderbilt Universities used the same underwriter for student medical insurance: Chickering US HealthScare.

I had no break in coverage, and even purchased a private HMO (Oxford) plan that cost several hundred dollars each month just so I could prevent becoming uninsurable before my 25th birthday.

Wrong. Not only did I continue to pay for all three policies, I also had to pay for treatment and STILL wound up on TennCare and Medicaid.

Despite doing all the "right" things, I was still unable to transfer benefits from one graduate school to the next.

I have not been granted any leniency by extending the amount or time permitted to complete my degree-- or allow me to transfer those credits towards another program at the same institution, and ultimately left me financially devastated and emotionally bankrupt.

Vanderbilt will not even transfer any of the credits I paid for (in spades) towards another degree at the same university since they no longer have the program I was initially enrolled in. I think it goes without saying that I do not have the financial resources available to finish my last semester, take the GREs over again, or pay the associated application fees necessary to make the time spent their worthwhile.

Throughout the three year process of filing medical appeal after the next, I acquired over 1/4 million dollars in debt due the student loans I needed to pay for my unreimbursed medical expenses.

My life will never be the same.

My heart will never be the same.

And now once again, I face losing my health care that I fought so hard to get?

Where is the safety net? Where is the American Dream that I so diligently chased after for so many years? What was the point of investing so much in a future that I can never enjoy?

How can I justify spending so money much on an education that will never be utilized?

I understand the how; I just don't understand why.

Maybe one of these days Vanderbilt University and the Department of Education will realize it might just be cheaper to hire me that harass me.

I need a real paying job, but with the skyrocketing unemployment rate, it looks as though I will have a lot of competition.

Please do something, and do it quick. I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy.

Sincerely yours,


Elyssa Durant
Nashville, TN

Monday, December 14, 2009

Now THAT is open

Open Government



As we dive headfirst into information age, the Digital Divide is more divisive than ever before.






The addition of Whitehouse, Congressional and Regulatory websites shows us just how critical it is to be able to have your opinions heard OUTLOUD and ONLINE!



Perhaps these new additions will finally convince The Powers That Beat that there is now more than ever, the United States has an unprecedented need for equal access to internet access and social media.






We must convince local and federal authorities to provide access for the popultions in need of fair and equal access to the online information.



Contact your representatives and insist upon Open Government for all. Internet access is no longer a luxury, it is part of the democratic process.




www.freepress.netOpen Government and provide the resources for those remain silent due to the Digital Divide! http://www.regulations.gov/exchange/





Whitehouse.gov - before and after Obama: http://digg.com/d1iOkd?t


Monday, December 7, 2009

NIMBY FOOTNOTE FROM MARCH 2009

Grant Money Well Spent?


This is only part of the story... But definitely NOT all of it.


My computer, meds, printer, transcripts, and even my diplomas & Social Security card were left in puddles in the pouring rain.



FROM LANDLORD PLAYING DUMB: 
 You were there Tuesday?
I understand that you cannot move your items today from the building but that you can over the weekend. I will make sure that the building is unlocked tomorrow and Sunday.




ELYSSA BEING A SMART ASS: ,

John:

Please note that the photos are time and geostamped, so you may wish to reconsider the possibility that I tend to tell the truth, especially when my personal safety is at risk. Keep in mind, I have no history of violent, criminal, or psychotic behavior. .  Can you say that if the other three tenants?

You might consider running a background check the next time you allow an unsuspecting person to rent a room in a house that clearly requires more than just a $250,000 grant.

I believe in full disclosure.  It may not hurt you to let the next person know exactly what they can expect.


This is not what anyone interested in transitioning homeless would or should or could do to a person picking up the pieces that have been ripped, torn, flooded, from my life since I first agreed to give testimony regarding shots fired in a MDHA and federally funded property in March of 2009.

Maybe that NIMBY crowd has the right idea.  If only I could make back over to their side of the tracks. More later. On that you can rely...



THIS IS WHY I HAVE NO "STUFF"  no bed, no kitchen ware, no respect. all of my clothing is needs to be washed because it is moldy, I'm out of quarters.  this is not how a responsible, federally funded program operates. I read the HUD agreement.

Who is looking out for people in these situations.  Yes, I hear the crazy jokes, shit-- I make the crazy jokes. 
 
None of this is not funny. I may be crazy, but wouldn't you be a little unsettled that nobody, and I mean NOBODY cares enough about me or any human being to lift a finger to help. 

So here are the pics... how would you feel if you found all your belongings locked up in a flooded dog cage before you had a chance to get a truck or find a "friend' to help you move into a place of your own?



Friday, November 20, 2009

Storm on the Horizon



The last several days, I found myself thinking about a statement I made several years ago. In this modern era of communications, it is difficult for a freelance writer like myself to make retractions- and correct myself given that I only have a small stream of frequent readers. However, I often make mistakes whether it is an ampersand instead of a comma or an opinion statement that could be easily misunderstood. I would like to correct one such statement and set the record straight. Not just for my readers, but also for myself.

This weekend marks the beginning of what I consider one of the greatest travesties in American history: Hurricane Katrina. This is further compounded by the potential devastation that awaits New Orleans residents when they return to the unknown losses that await them as Hurricane Gustav looms of the Gulf Coast and inches its way closer and closer to the Louisiana border.
 
Several years ago, I made an online statement that Nashvillians in need of benefits should apply "before the Louisiana people utilize whatever resources we have left." In retrospect, that statement seems crass and insensitive. Now that several years have passed, I would certainly blame this disgusting war as the main culprit of domestic waste. Unfortunately, I cannot turn back the hands of time, and that statement exists- floating around for all eternity in the magical world of cyberspace. All I can do now is try my best to explain what prompted that statement and hope that those who read my previous piece will also see this retraction.
 
I would like to take this opportunity to explain what prompted such an apparently callous, insensitive comment and set the record straight.
 
We live in a country that rallies together when faced with domestic and international crises. We open our hearts, our homes, and our wallets for disaster relief here and overseas. We also live in a world where smaller crises exist everyday albeit poverty, hunger or homelessness. Such domestic problems tend to be chronic in nature and often slip under the radar. The battle lines have been drawn and we lost. We are losing. With every day that passes the casualties grow to astronomical proportions. We failed.

Katrina, Tennessee residents took in many refugees. The local papers printed countless ads offering shelter, financial assistance, and job opportunities to "Survivors of Katrina." I called some of these people in response to their apparent act of altruism and learned that these offers were only applicable to survivors of Katrina and not to local residents. I was angry.
 
I was angry because in the months before that devastating storm hit the Gulf Coast, there was an urgent call for people to open their homes to the 30,000 children and adolescents in desperate need of foster care. Children without a home. Children without a safety net. Our city did not respond. Our residents did not rise to the occasion and countless children continue to live in uncertain conditions without the necessities they need to thrive in this complicated, fragmented society.

After considerable thought, I came to the conclusion that the media and current policies that allow such unfortunate states of existence are partly to blame, but so too are the American people and the residents of this fine city that I like to think of as home. So why is it that we are so generous in times of urgent need by allowing pervasive states of poverty for our local residents and out children? Are they damaged goods? Are persons in poverty to blame for their circumstances? Are they too week? Are they somehow supposed to magically lift themselves out of the dark and somehow find the path into enlightenment of financial security? Is this the ultimate act of Social Darwinism where survival of the fittest means people who are fit to survive against all odds? Is it just a coincidence that the words indigent and indignant sound so similar?
 
As Hurricane Gustav approaches, I call upon our local residents to do more than just welcome the fleeing victims to open their hearts and their homes. I challenge each and every one of you to continue this charity after the storm has cleared. Even after the storm in the Gulf has moved past the coast and becomes another chapter in history, there is much to be done right here, right now. Do we accept the indignation of indigence and poverty with indifference? Or do we act?
 
We can do so much on the home front before our indifference creates a storm of domestic disaster. It is unfortunate for us that people have been too blind, too indifferent, and too complacent they do not even see such a storm brewing. But if you look, and if you listen, it is not hard to see how such a storm is brewing just beyond the horizon.

The last several days, I found myself thinking about a statement I made several years ago. In this modern era of communications, it is difficult for a freelance writer like myself to make retractions- and correct myself given that I only have a small stream of frequent readers. However, I often make mistakes whether it is an ampersand instead of a comma or an opinion statement that could be easily misunderstood. I would like to correct one such statement and set the record straight. Not just for my readers, but also for myself.
 
This weekend marks the beginning of what I consider one of the greatest travesties in American history: Hurricane Katrina. This is further compounded by the potential devastation that awaits New Orleans residents when they return to the unknown losses that await them as Hurricane Gustav looms of the Gulf Coast and inches its way closer and closer to the Louisiana border.
 
Several years ago, I made an online statement that Nashvillians in need of benefits should apply "before the Louisiana people utilize whatever resources we have left." In retrospect, that statement seems crass and insensitive. Now that several years have passed, I would certainly blame this disgusting war as the main culprit of domestic waste. Unfortunately, I cannot turn back the hands of time, and that statement exists- floating around for all eternity in the magical world of cyberspace. All I can do now is try my best to explain what prompted that statement and hope that those who read my previous piece will also see this retraction.

I would like to take this opportunity to explain what prompted such an apparently callous, insensitive comment and set the record straight.

We live in a country that rallies together when faced with domestic and international crises. We open our hearts, our homes, and our wallets for disaster relief here and overseas. We also live in a world where smaller crises exist everyday albeit poverty, hunger or homelessness. Such domestic problems tend to be chronic in nature and often slip under the radar. The battle lines have been drawn and we lost. We are losing. With every day that passes the casualties grow to astronomical proportions. We failed.
 

After Katrina, Tennessee residents took in many refugees. The local papers printed countless ads offering shelter, financial assistance, and job opportunities to "Survivors of Katrina." I called some of these people in response to their apparent act of altruism and learned that these offers were only applicable to survivors of Katrina and not to local residents. I was angry.
 
I was angry because in the months before that devastating storm hit the Gulf Coast, there was an urgent call for people to open their homes to the 30,000 children and adolescents in desperate need of foster care. Children without a home. Children without a safety net. Our city did not respond. Our residents did not rise to the occasion and countless children continue to live in uncertain conditions without the necessities they need to thrive in this complicated, fragmented society.
 
After considerable thought, I came to the conclusion that the media and current policies that allow such unfortunate states of existence are partly to blame, but so too are the American people and the residents of this fine city that I like to think of as home. So why is it that we are so generous in times of urgent need by allowing pervasive states of poverty for our local residents and out children? Are they damaged goods? Are persons in poverty to blame for their circumstances? Are they too week? Are they somehow supposed to magically lift themselves out of the dark and somehow find the path into enlightenment of financial security? Is this the ultimate act of Social Darwinism where survival of the fittest means people who are fit to survive against all odds? Is it just a coincidence that the words indigent and indignant sound so similar?

As Hurricane Gustav approaches, I call upon our local residents to do more than just welcome the fleeing victims to open their hearts and their homes. I challenge each and every one of you to continue this charity after the storm has cleared. Even after the storm in the Gulf has moved past the coast and becomes another chapter in history, there is much to be done right here, right now. Do we accept the indignation of indigence and poverty with indifference? Or do we act?


We can do so much on the home front before our indifference creates a storm of domestic disaster. It is unfortunate for us that people have been too blind, too indifferent, and too complacent they do not even see such a storm brewing. But If you look, and if you listen, it is not hard to see how such a storm is brewing just beyond the horizon.












Sunday, November 15, 2009

Disability Redetermination in Progress


now ain't that just a bitch... thanks, daddy. i love you too. maybe i can crash at your place for a while if i lose my own.  do you really need the money that badly? 


The 3rd Circuit



11/19/09: Social Security: No check recieved. 
So much for the check being 
"in the mail."


~VERITAS~ 



I Can Tweet My Ass Off... What Can YOU Do?



The new Consumer Action Handbook - This guide from the Federal Citizen Information Center can help with your consumer problems and questions. Find help on such topics as buying and leasing cars, shopping from home and protecting your privacy and yourself from fraud.


VOTER REGISTRATION FRAUD




Posted by Picasa



Welcome Elyssa, we will be connecting your calls to: 6154248810. If this is not the correct phone number at which to reach you, please click here and resubmit your information.

Casey, Robert P., Jr. (D-PA)

SENATE

Tel:

(202) 224-6324

Current position: supports Quality, affordable health care for all

Call Now!

Specter, Arlen (D-PA)


SENATE

Tel:

(202) 224-4254

Current position: unknown

Call Now!

Thompson, Glenn (R-PA005)

HOUSE

Tel:

(202) 225-5121

Current position: unknown Call Now!

Place your call by clicking one of the "Call Now!" links to the left. Once you click, you'll see some simple talking points to help you to know what to say. You will then be presented with a reporting form for submitting feedback to us. Shortly after we will call you, play a short message, and connect you directly. All at no cost to you!*.

* If your phone service provider charges you for incoming calls, you may be charged for the call time.


Raise your voice! More information about our Click-to-Call advocacy tool at http://tools.advomatic.com/c2c

Saturday, November 14, 2009

11/14/09

Welcome Elyssa, we will be connecting your calls to: 6154248810. If this is not the correct phone number at which to reach you, please click here and resubmit your information.

11/11/09 via CELL















Casey, Robert P., Jr. (D-PA)


SENATE

Tel:

(202) 224-6324

Current position: supports Quality, affordable health care for all

Call Now!

Specter, Arlen (D-PA)

SENATE

Tel:

(202) 224-4254

Current position: unknown

Call Now!

Thompson, Glenn (R-PA005)

HOUSE

Tel:

(202) 225-5121

Current position: unknown Call Now!

Place your call by clicking one of the "Call Now!" links to the left. Once you click, you'll see some simple talking points to help you to know what to say. You will then be presented with a reporting form for submitting feedback to us. Shortly after we will call you, play a short message, and connect you directly. All at no cost to you!*.

* If your phone service provider charges you for incoming calls, you may be charged for the call time.


















Raise your voice! More information about our Click-to-Call advocacy tool at http://tools.advomatic.com/c2c

Friday, November 13, 2009

Thank you Wackenhut!


Last year, it was the election commission... this time it was the Board of Ed who failed to secure the personal information, social security numbers, and financial data of local students and employees.


The Tennessean openly discusses the salary of Metro teachers in the The Tennessean. The reporter makes it sound like she has uncovered some profound secret: Teachers are underpaid. No shit?

The papers seem to gloss over the magnitude if the situation of teacher pay and mobility within Metro Nashville. I wasted a ton of money at Vanderbilt and almost as much in the Ivy League. By investing in a useless program and a worthless degree, I am the first to admit I have made some bad choices, but now I am asking for some advice.





I CAN'T FIND A JOB!

 

I cannot afford to complete the application, or find transportation to get to an interview.

I am beyond broke. I am so far in debt that I do not even bother to open my mail since it consists only negative balances, bank statements, and letters from collection agencies and the Department of Education.


When I found out that someone recently used my social security number to open an account in Jersey City, I was thrilled at the prospect that my credit score might actually go up!

I never dreamed that I would have to apply for a social services grant simply to find a job. I never thought about fees for fingerprinting, TB tests, official transcripts, examination fees, processing fees necessary to apply a position that really only requires a GED.



As an employee of the Metro Nashville Public Schools, I work part-time as an educator at the "Masters + 30" salary level. I earn $10.46 / hour, before taxes without benefits.




That does not go far, and they are currently eliminating employees, so any chance of a raise or future opportunities for advancement seem unlikely during these tough economic times.

I cannot afford additional application fees or costs associated with the Alternative Certification options, and I certainly do not have the resources required to obtain another undergraduate degree just so I can bypass the 6 months of student teach necessary for Metro to deem me qualified to teach Head Start, pre-k or even adult literacy programs.

The bottom line is this: regardless of good intentions or misguided mentoring, I am a financial burden to you all. I pay taxes out of your taxes. I am absolutely convinced that there must be a better way to live than relying upon government subsidies to keep a roof over my head and Ramen noodles in my tummy.


There is a plethora of young, talented individuals like myself who would be more than willing to work for MNPS or any other company if we could simply access the resources necessary to complete the application. We all know that teacher salary is ridiculous to begin with, so no kudos to the reporter at the Tennessean for pointing out the obvious.



This is the reality I live in. This is poverty. This is why I am hoping that someone out there knows someone or some way that I can contribute more to society than what I am taking. I am a leach on society. I will continue to be a leach on society.


Relying upon the "welfare" of others is a terrible way to live especially when you have something to give back.



People used to laugh when I would inquire about transportation funds, internet access grants or assisted technology funds and resources...

Surely, the AT&T cable bill could have included a measure to assist the disabled and economically challenged members of our community free or discounted online internet service. Certainly one of these big companies coming to Tennessee can help by hiring just one over educated, underemployed, and dedicated employee.



I live so far beneath the poverty line that I am willing to work for the necessities in life that I simply cannot afford such as toothpaste and internet access. I cannot afford the application fees Metro charges for new or returning applicants. I'm not eligible for community training programs or work force development... there are no grant based training programs for people who just made a few bad, BAD investments along the way-- say, for example, a college degree?

 


I am not too proud to beg for a job or take some free advice if it will help me to get from here to there. I need someone, anyone, willing to give me a chance to prove myself. I need someone to invest in me!



I believe I deserve more out of life than this, and I think that if you knew me, you would think so too. Help become the person I was meant to be. Try to the see the person I could become.

I have so much to contribute, but few resources get there. All I want is a chance. All I need is a mentor. Will someone please take the time to invest in me? All I want is a chance. All I need is a mentor. Will someone please invest in me?

CONTENT RREPRINTED FROM NEWS:  [contest held by Associated Content-- I won a buck!]
Avaialble online:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1309452/morally_bankrupt_how_much_am_i_worth.html?singlepage=true&cat=9


Thursday, November 12, 2009

JURISDICTION: THE ULTIMATE POWER PLAY





THAT ADDRESS: IT MUST HAVE BEEN A NICE PLACE TO GROW UP.

IT'S A NICE ENOUGH AREA~ I HEAR THE HOUSE IS MAGNIFICENT


TOO BAD I AIN'T NEVER BEEN THERE, THEY TELL ME IT'S NICE.





I DO BELIEVE I FOUND PENNSYLVANIA 00-6
CONGRESSMAN THOMPSON: WHO 'S GREASING YOUR PALMS?




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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Writing Through Dark




















When I first started writing, the internet it became a substitute for human interaction. Aside from Pepe, the computer had become my next best friend.  Certainly better than any therapist I have ever seen. Writing through dark helped me to clarify and organize my thoughts.

My computer does not ask me stupid questions or blame me for taking too long to spit just the right words.

It does not mind if I stutter, take a break or tend to more pressing matters. The internet was simply another way to escape from the madness that surrounds me.

Before I knew to how to attach formatted, edited, spell checked versions of documents, I would often begin writing in cyberspace only to find that I addressed it incorrectly, or worse, copied the very last person I would want to know exactly how I feel.


There have been times when I have accidentally hit send a little too soon. When I review some of my past journal entries written online, it is easy to see the raw emotion that pours out of my soul into the physical world. There have been countless times I have found myself so completely caught up in the writing process that I get stuck to the keyboard for hours (sometimes even days) and yet there I am—- asleep at the keyboard— again!

Writing "live" can be dangerous—it is far too easy to come off as a raving lunatic who cannot hold one train of thought long enough to keep the web browser from timing out!

If only I could retrieve some of the messages that hit cyberspace...

Will I ever be able to coexist peacefully? Play well with others? I still work at my own pace— sometimes in my own world, always in my own head... I like to think I might flourish in some other man's world and tell myself I could exist in some other reality—but those who see through me know this is my last defense, and however sad, I must believe that if I am to go on.

However, be warned that I may, someday, somewhere, decide to stick around for a while. Could you be my neighbor? Would you be my friend?

Could you? Could I? Can I ever stop running and being afraid? What must I do, what I must learn, or who must I become to make you believe that such social grace and honest beauty have always come naturally to me?

When will this act ever subside? I developed an entire persona based on fear alone. How very sad. The cheerleader that never was. The child that never knew safety, peace, or security. A woman who existed in a world of silence— until now, I suppose.

Somehow, I must learn to embrace the fear. The fear of being discovered for the person that I am rather than the person I often pretend to be.

Regardless of the mask we put on when we go out in public, we all feel insecure, lonely, isolated, and afraid at times. Unfortunately, for me, I feel that way more often than not. I live with the kind of self-doubt that most people outgrow in early adolescence. The older I got, the more isolated I felt. Shouldn't I have outgrown this by now?

So now I have to become the person I used to be. The person I was meant to be. The person who existed long before the realities of life set in. Someone with hope, someone with a purpose. Someone who believed woman who existed long before the shadow of fear and failure ruled my every waking moment and took over the sleepless nights.

Yes, I can. Sometimes.

Fear.

Fear of believing that I deserved to be loved and never finding it. A human being entitled freedoms, and a woman who knows how to make choices. I am already stronger than I ever wanted to be.

I was blessed with strength.

Strength! Who the fuck wanted strength? Who wanted fear? Who wanted freedom???? There are people who love me-- they may not know it yet-- or may have forgotten me by now, but I need to stay put and live within my own skin again for a while just to see how feels.

Just stop running.

I have been challenged in ways that most people cannot even begin or understand-- and for me I must accept that there simply is no justice. So as I am, there is nothing that can replace what I have lost, not inside myself. I do not believe in revenge.

How ironic. How bazaar. Tragic. No one else cares. Who gives a shit? Why seek revenge for its own sake? How would that help? Nothing can replace what has been lost, not within myself.

But what if you are right??? What if--IF-- it is possible to let go of my anger? What will become of all that rage and turmoil I carry around with every waking moment? Can I exist peacefully within my own body? And what about the pain? I mean the hard the hard-core physical pain that hits me when I am most vulnerable? Can I live with the pain?

Can you promise me that it will have been worth it in the end? And, what if, after all is said done, I find myself to be an old woman with no friends, no ties, just a worn out memory of myself as I used to be—or who thought I might become. An old woman who lived far too long and too hard to realize that her act was done one-half a century ago.

Can you make it all worthwhile? Can you live with such responsibility?

Can I ever recapture enough of my former self to become a sexual being rather than innuendo? Can that person coexist in the same body that has brought me so much pain? Will anyone ever sift through the grime to find me? Will they ultimately feel it was just a waste of time? Will he hate me for it? Will he hate women as a result?

Can I ever learn to accept my physical pain without feeling compromised as a woman? Can I ever learn to accept my emotional mind without feeling compromised as a human being?

Do not tell anyone, but I can remember what it was like to enjoy sex. At what point can I allow myself to long for the sensation of human touch without being too optimistic? I don't want to get addicted. Sex will never be enough for me. I dream of loosing myself in a man's body. I dream about complete and absolute absorption.

I shall find mediocrity! Keep your labels interpretations and judgments to yourself. Control your need to soothe my fragile psyche or your need to "cure" me. I must find mediocrity. There in, I hope, lies the self. The everyday, the lull, the common person: rhythmic sanity and flattened affect. Dulled emotions and satisfaction. Satisfied, dull, boring, everyday. God—please!!! Where do I sign up?

Yes— okay— sometimes, it scares me to be so utterly alone, but what purpose does that serve? Even I know how despicable self-pity is in others and in myself. Especially for someone "like" me-- whatever that means! Great—so not only am I sad, but now I am feeling guilty too. And ashamed. And embarrassed. And Fear. And nothingness

Sometimes I wish others could understand the silent, peaceful, uncomplicated absolution that dawns with acceptance and resignation.

My goals have become so convoluted, yet here I sit, 13 years later, and my computer is still my best friend. My search for mediocrity continues. I am still looking for comfortable safety and a place of solitude before I can fulfill my "destiny"... to become whatever it is I was meant to be. Before I was reduced to nothing more than a shell of a person beaten down the Powers That Beat.

A journey on the road towards (Maslow's) self-actualization. Is it too late to build the strong foundations I lacked as a child? To feel secure enough in my physical surroundings and trust that my most basic needs will be met. Can I successfully transition into a world of unknowns without any understanding of the world as it is?

Maybe others have taken this path before me-- or maybe someday, someone might inadvertently wander into this sanctuary I call home. A place where nothing seems as it but exactly the way it is supposed to be.

Look at us-- who we are, what we do, and how we survive... all the people everywhere... All of us with limitless potential yet none of us know it-- irreverent disregard for what is real and complete disrespect for the rules that have thrust upon us.

This is the easy part-- restating economists and social scientists of days gone by-- so it is here that I can rest my head and my tired fingers. Why do I feel this shit? I actually *feel* this shit. As I sit and write (and eventually hit delete) I am bound to the streams of consciousness-- irate bouts of ranting and raving-- knowing how easy it is for people to silence such carrying-ons.

Upon writing my first piece ever-- a poem about motherhood, childhood, and the woman-child, my mother tried to have me committed. What a reality check! At 22, 1 put side my fear and wrote a simple poem for myself, to myself. It was straightforward, simple and direct, and almost landed me in an insane asylum. Are my words that dangerous? Are my feelings so far beyond the norm that I need to be removed from society altogether?

Yes, with a copy of my journal in hand, my mother's shrink showed up at my door-step to express her "grave concern" about my perception of reality. Not the first time, and it definitely would not be the last. As the years went by, I learned that my words would be used against me as a testimony to my madness. Only after years of therapy have I come to understand that it was not my words that were so dangerous, it was my ability to use them correctly. Perhaps it was not my sanity that should have been called into question...

I called my first piece, "On Not Being Able to Write." So simple, so eloquent, and so honest. After that little encounter, I learned about secrecy, symbolism, and self-censorship. I learned to write in riddles, live in puzzles, and think in circles. It kept others out-- but left me afraid. Afraid to be seen for who I am. Afraid of how my words were being received and how they would be interpreted. And now that things have come full circle, I am making a welcome return to honesty and a much needed reprieve from my riddles.

Let there be boundaries. Let them be impenetrable, secure, and bold. Obvious boundaries-- this is my path-- and you may not come with me. You must learn to find your own!

I think I shall buy a paint-by-numbers kit at the toy store. Simple. Impossible-but only because I can not paint!!!!



Saturday, November 7, 2009

Maybe We Can't








You cannot apply basic economic theory and free market principles to health care. Health care is fundamentally different and should be considered a public good.

First, health care is completely self-regulated and controlled. A person does not have free choice when choosing a provider. Due to an unholy alliance of provider networks, insurance underwriters, pharmaceutical conglomerates and private for profit hospital corporations such as HCA.

By negotiating with providers and developing one-size-fits-all prescription formularies and treatment protocols, we remove the ability for the consumer to make independent informed decisions about the value of various treatment options.

We rely upon one the ratings of physicians who have a self-interest in controlling access and information to accurate information through their reliance upon Certification and Licensing Boards. By limiting access into the profession, health care costs are inflated and it is near impossible for the consumer to determine the fair value of a health care service.

Second, the consumer is far removed from the negotiating process, so we do not have a good sense of the fair, free market value of one particular service in comparison to another. All you need to do is look at any EOB (explanation of benefits) report for your last trip to the hospital. 

Billing codes are used and assigned through various service departments and the insurance carrier then decides which services are covered and at what rate. They use the terms like "Reasonable and Customary Rates" and then choose to pay 80% of that. So by definition, that 20% must be built in to the billing rates to adjust for the actual (and expected) rate of reimbursement.

Such complicated billing procedures and methods are so complicated and technical that the end recipient of services (the consumer) really has no idea if an X-ray costs $90 or $73. Add into that a separate fee for the radiologist, and sometimes a charge just to use the facility, and even smart people find it difficult to understand.

The bills are then processed by an insurance adjuster who must determine primary and secondary (supplemental) plans and determine who is responsible for what, the end cost and intricate design is truly "priceless."

A false sense of security is unfair and unjust. I would rather have nothing than false expectations and disappointment.Writing Through Dark

Without regulation, intervention and enforcement, many people will continue to believe they are prepared and protected from that ultimate for "just in case" scenario that results in major, catastrophic medical loss.

Yeah, right. The administrative cost alone on the part of the "Responsible Party" is probably more costly than the initial service they received at whatever hospital for whatever condition.

The bottom line is this, we can pass laws, we can file injunctive, pass symbolic legislation, and spew feel good if oration about public programs that fall short if their promise to assist those in crisis. However, unless we demand accountability from state and federal agencies (1) demanding a timely response; (2) create and external entity to do an independent audit to ensure compliance, (3) enforce those laws through whatever means necessary; we have no recourse.

As more and more people continue to lose their benefits, and their unemployment benefits run out... the state will continue to be overburdened, and people in crisis can only go so long without before it is too late. Social Security and DHS MUST be held accountable, and we must pressure our legislators to create a separate entity to conduct external reviews IMMEDIATELY.

I would write more, but I have some forms that MUST be filed out and faxed immediately to appeal the termination of my benefits. Since the Dept of Human Services only have 20 days to appeal, they should be required to respond in a timely fashion.

It is on us to see that this happens. Regardless of whether we chose a public or private option, without regulation, accountability and strict enforcement... we have no recourse. Please fix it. I can't do this alone!



CLICK HERE TO CALL CONGRESS: YOU'RE CALL WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE RECORDED AND COUNTED
 SO STFU ALREADY YOU STUPID, SELF-SERVING, POLITICAL WANNA-BE, SELL-OUT! OF ALL THE THINGS IN MY ARSENAL: THAT LETTER YOU SENT FROM YOUR BOSSES E-MAIL? NO WONDER THE DEMS  RE GOING TO SHIT IN TENNESSEE-- AND YOU PRETEND TO SPEAK FOR ALL OF THEM!)  I ALMOST GET GIDDY THINKING OF THE DVD THT WAS MADE ABOUT COMMUNITY APATHY...  WHICH IN LL PROBILITY, WILL, IN FACT  GO "VIRAL" 

BECAUSE THERE AINT NOTHING LIKE YOUR OWN WORDS TO DIGG A GRAVE!




TRANSPARENCY? YES. PRICELESS! Click to call your member of Congress and demand quality, affordable health care!



Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee







MODIFIED 366 DAYS LTER.... [EDD/eds 11.07.09]



I have a serious problem with the most recent health reform effort. Asking or expecting the health industry to reduce costs through self-regulation without accountability is simply ridiculous.



Health care is already completely self-regulated and controlled. A person does not have free choice when choosing a provider. Due to an unholy alliance of provider networks, insurance underwriters, pharmaceutical conglomerates and private for profit hospital corporations such as HCA.



By negotiating with providers and developing one-size-fits-all prescription formularies and treatment protocols, we remove the ability for the consumer to make independent informed decisions about the value of various treatment options.



We rely upon one the ratings of physicians who have self-interest in controlling access and information to accurate information through their reliance upon Certification and Licensing Boards. By limiting access into the profession, health care costs are inflated and it is near impossible for the consumer to determine the fair value of a health care service.



Second, the consumer is far removed from the negotiating process, so we do not have a good sense of the fair, free market value of one particular service in comparison to another. All you need to do is look at any EOB (explanation of benefits) report for your last trip to the hospital.



Billing codes are used and assigned through various service departments and the insurance carrier then decides which services are covered and at what rate. They use the terms like “Reasonable and Customary Rates” and then choose to pay 80% of that. Therefore, by definition, that 20% must be built in to the billing rates to adjust for the actual (and expected) rate of reimbursement.



Such complicated billing procedures and methods are so complicated and technical that the end recipient of services (the consumer) really has no idea if an X-ray costs $90 or $73. Add into that a separate fee for the radiologist, and sometimes a charge just to use the facility, and even smart people find it difficult to understand.



The bills are then processed by an insurance adjuster who must determine primary and secondary (supplemental) plans and determine who is responsible for what, the end cost and intricate design is truly “priceless.”



Good luck to those people who actually purchased supplemental plans they saw advertised on TV, you have been duped. Giving people (especially the poor, the elderly, and other high risk populations) a false sense of security is unfair and unjust.



Without regulation, intervention and enforcement, many people will continue to believe they are prepared and protected from that ultimate catastrophic medical loss.



The administrative cost alone on the part of the “Responsible Party” is probably more costly than the initial service they received at whatever hospital for whatever condition.



You cannot apply basic economic theory and free market principles to health care. Health care is fundamentally different and until I am convinced that the poor pathetic people of this nation are competent enough to understand the complexities innvolved in the healthcare industry, I say we all need to stfu. As a "certified health insurance information broker" [a bullshit title, but it does give the right to comment, and my that gives me the right to say "I don't know," then surely America can admit, just a little, that you really don't know nearly as much as FaceBook status would have us believe.



Yes I am angry as hell, but after seeing the ignorant, vile, completely innapropriate, irrelevant, and in... in... in... OMG! You've finally done it... I am speechless. WOW!



discussion that hurts every single one of us, I hope you think twice before you ask me to log my calls. Trust me, I have. Every single one!



That's all. I have nothing more to say. I watch you make asses out of yourselves fighting over values, religion, ethics... Anyone who knows anything about healthcare can see through your ridiculous facade. Because values, SES, education, elitism, LIBERALS, CONSERVATIVES, oh and lets forget the evil "SOCIALISTS" "atheists" whore mongering welfare recipients like myself (who are going going to hell anyway!)



RICH, POOR, STUPID, SMART, IDGAF anymore... none of these things will lay the groundwork for sound policy and effective reform. America has shown the world our true colors, and the rest of the world is laughing as we fall like dominoes into the depths of the depression.



When you start a real converation, let me know. But until then... I can't participate in this massive effort to completely self destruct.



On the brightside, for dear friends like @Potus, @badjerry @dwbjr69 @donnette @amazingflora @rocketman528 @almostvisible  @PortCityPisces @badwebsites @elvisofdallas dont worry, I got this one.... As usual I will continue to take names, laugh out loud, scream and shout for justice, but for those who know me best, my silence speaks so much louder than my words.


So when I find the words, maybe I'll rejoin the conversation. Until I am convinced that people are informed and prepared for the mess you are creating, I want no part of of it. Healthcare is public good. Without it, we have nothing.


 



Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee