"It seems painfully obvious to me now that the only way out was through…
If had known then what I know now, I would not have wasted so much precious time searching for the source of my profound sadness.
I must no longer allow myself to be drawn into this circle of madness.I will write more later I can dig up enough money for a cell phone that answers.DRAFT/edd copyLEFT 2009
You may dispose of my photos, writings and more, I am sorry you don't realize you have officially now
escalated funny money into an unfortunate civil war!
I can no longer protect the one who hurt me the most, and I officially declare myself as
independent and free. Goodbye for now to The Powers That Beat, I am tired of that nightmare where I can't move my feet.
I am one today, but I am not alone; my DNA and birthright does not make me a clone.
Any genetic disorders, whatever they may be; will never again stand in the way for my fight to be free.
My bloodline alone comes right back to you, and your ridiculous denials are nothing new.
I must protect myself from your twisted mind, never forget, late last night, you left ME behind.
You may think I've forgotten all your hysterical pleas, but I am legally required to remind you of
I hope your are ready for what lies ahead, because I don't think anyone else will agree this was all
in my head.
You declared this yourself, on March the fourteenth, one month to the day, and I will expect it in writing before the next April 15th.
You no longer manipulate my ID or actions and blame; for I am not the one who falsely claims
to be poor. You may find it a little bit harder to blame it on crazy and point the finger at me, I'm posting it here for the whole to see.
Do not blame my siblings, or my father's new wife; your priority should be focused on your own fucked up life.
I hate to think that you must pay to board poor dear, Ziggy; and if it disturbs you that much I life material greed should not be of more value than your own child's life.
I got excluded from
the human genome, stop feeding me crazy, just bring it back home.
The suicide note I
once left in your possession, should no longer be guarded as your greatest
I defy the heritage
that left me broken inside, any tears I have shed will at long last
I no longer will allow myself to be tried by the ridiculous facade that has given YOU a false sense of pride.
I'm now on my own, as was always the case; it is so very sad you thought of this as a race.
I will honor your request to sever ALL ties; it is long overdue that I be set free from your lies.
I never signed on to your game of deception; me thinks much more was at stake than some a strangers
When I think of the time photographed my bare naked tatoo; sadly but surely this last joke is on you.
In case you forgot my last words to you, they were words of sincerity I hope you'll review.
My concern for my sister is so very genuine, but your emergency calls are just all too familiar, I may just camp out in Vegas, to watch over you. Surely my "fans" know we discussed nothing new.
I defy my heritage and claim my last stake, At least one with Faith believes I was never intended to be an aborted mistake.
I declare my freedom and accept your last dare, because if this hell, I'll be seeing you there.
I am sorry you believe I was your biggest mistake, but for the love of my sisters, I must throw up a flair... No child deserves to be barely there.
You are so transparent, it is easy to see, I hope you leave this behind you, the same way you left me.
My bloodline runs deeper than your foolish pride, I will pray for you today, that you take this in stride.
I do hope to all hope your psychosis is real, for until you address it you will never be healed.
I am over and done with this stupid game, I gave you more than one warning to ammend your tax claim.
So as I fight for my freedom, my health and my name, I hope your Glaucoma blind eye will protect you and keep you free from the shame.
I must no longer allow trauma to guide me through life; I can not worry about makeup and urgent details and lies, WHY WON'T YOU ALLOW ME TO IND YOUR DISCARDED trash, you donated Pepe, I adopted him twice, if you only knew how many people thought twice...
I can't be concerned with your refunded fair, if you won't let me use it, I'll find some other way there.
I'm sure you will make a very beautiful wife, for as much as you paid, you sure dumped it on me.... I won't have that surgery since you now look just like me.
You are correct in your assessment that you have earned all you have, had you paid just four bucks, ii wouldn't have cared!
If there ever was a time to say, "this too shall pass...," then please go ahead and kiss my Size 8 tatooed ass!
It is time for me to focus on answers...
The events leading me into this circle of despair must no longer guide me through life.
If I am to escape the vivid memories of past.
Now, it is time to live free or die, I hope for one day that my focus can last.
I have spent too many years asking, “Now how did I wind up here?”
Today I am asking for hope, “To live free from fear.”
Elyssa Durant Nashville, TN, March 15, 2009
DRAFT: copyLEFT 2009
Elyssa Durant, Nashville, TN