Monday, October 12, 2009

A Formal Apology Upon Request

The problem statement: You tell me!


So basically, when a case mgr leaves, your file does not get transferred; it is simply closed or abandoned?

This also happened to me at OCA (according to Willis Farris, Legal Aid, MDHA, Metro AFS/Crisis Homeless Prevention, Crisis Intervention, MHC MANY TIMES, DHS and the DLAC (when it was still TPA)

No wonder nothing gets resolved. Heard on appeal, or resolved. Social Security, TennCare Appeals Unit, the DLAC all did the same exact thing.

There is a serious problem in this state with case file management.

I used to work for DCS. Those files weren’t lost! Neither were quite a few of the children who were suddenly MIA as they approached the age of majority. I personally reported to the location of several “missing” children, however, the Supervisors never bothered to return any calls or find go to meet the children. However, the state simply found it too inconvenient to be bothered with the time and expenses involved with coordinating post-custody services.

This problem was most obvious within populations at risk were those in transitioning out of custody. Expense involved transitional services several of the clients

Transitioning into ANY system of care has to be well designed, implemented. Evaluation is a critical component throughout the entire process and does not end after the program is implemented. We must constantly assess the quality of services.

The word “seamless” has no relevance here. Instead, we find road blocks to access transitional services.

No follow up, no appeal, no re-application option, no closure, no resolution appeals, or follow up. No wonder I'm spinning my wheels. I would like to know why my case cannot be transferred to another advocate, or transferred to another agency. Of course it makes more sense to keep it within the same agency, to maintain consistency and avoid time delays with appeals, releases and authorizations; but instead files are simply closed.

And I am always the last to know.

I realized that Ms. Duncan WAS my coordinating communications with MDHA since I have found it difficult to get a response. Even worse, it is NOT an MDHA issue. It makes things more complicated or me since they now have informal, incorrect information assessment from my old landlord and the three crazy ladies who I was forced to share an address with. Furthermore, I still don't have any more information about my finances and benefits because Social Security and my advocate also dropped the ball.

The woman, who sent this email, deserves a big, FUVM. MDHA has already disputed my eligibility since I simply don't have what I need to fill out their paperwork within the Ten Days permitted. They very well may close my file today.

I contacted Liz at Legal Aid, and she told my father has to mail me money to hire a lawyer. She actually refused to make a referral for pro-bono or other legal advocates for people with disabilities. She never even sent me a denial letter, or an appeal options. In fact, they neglected to read their own policy regarding open cases.

I never heard back from Erik Cole, John Wood, or Adult and Family Services, Crisis Intervention, Metro Homeless Prevention, or anyone at the ADA hotline. I hear nothing from anyone about anything. Why bother creating programs if no one is there to run them.

Discrimination in Metro must address all of Metro. Constituents, programs, employment and private religious charities. Even the Jewish Federation turned me down for counseling. They spent three months verifying their primary criteria for eligibility. They had two questions, one: are you Jewish, and, two: can you prove it? Seems like funding the JCC with benefits to the #homeless was not best idea Councilman Briley ever had. But I sure wish his Wi-Fi Bill had passed.

Homeless Prevention Programs must realize how difficult it is to maintain any stability. Especially a mailing address. All I have a website, and I can't even buy the domain. Regarding the official reason services are being denied appears to be more a social judgment from what I've seen, observed, and read online. To deny services based upon my parents income is absurd and ridiculous.

Perhaps they need a refresher course in Family Law and Benefits. Perhaps professor Rubenstein or the Employee Benefits Research Association to explain how these things work.

Can they actually refuse to furnish me with an application as they deny services, without a formal application? At least allowing me to apply or appeal since the fine print on their contract states they will represent me in any future disputes (the same case was thrown out in 2006) since the current dispute is result from the same case, Liz deserves a very enthusiastic FYVM as well.

A CLE course in Labor & Employment law is definitely in order, so Ms. Liz, keeper of all pro bono lists, referrals, and the only person I was told makes decisions regarding intake should be a little more embarrassed than she made me feel. That is why people hate lawyers: they are so damn arrogant.

So if "Liz," director, gatekeeper, and arrogant bitch, ever responds to my request made via Councilman Cole and TALS to find out the official grounds for denying my request for Legal Aid Services, I would be happy to go over there and tell her straight up what I think.

Any public interest lawyer who doesn't get the concept of the buzz words such as Termination of Parental Rights, clearly needs a lesson from a welfare little brat like me. There are very few reasons child custody files get sealed in what should be public record. Support orders don't get terminated before the age of majority except under extraordinary circumstances.

The fact that I am will be 37 in 3 weeks, and even I can't get a copy, gives you some idea of what is so bad, that even now the courts will not give ME a copy of my own custody file.

Yes, Harvard Lawyers have secrets. Federally appointed judges, sometimes go to extremes to hide them. It may be funny to all you fucktards who make jokes about the Jewish on welfare, but it is unprofessional to say it on a conference call.

Yes, terminated at August 15, 1988. So anyone who thinks I'm the sweet little girl Daddy loves to spoil, think again. If you want money from my parents, you will have asked them yourself.

Please don't push me on this. I've been on my own financially since I started working full time the summer before my 14th birthday. Locked out and discarded the summer my mother started dating a man who just happened to live on W72nd & CPW. Yes, the Rock -n-roll roll style was a hell of a lot more interesting than having a 14 year old who smoked the pot my mother was growing on the balcony.

So I worked full time to so I could eat at work (The Barge had really good lobster!) pay for clothing, because mom couldn't afford to buy me any. And when I needed to go on birth control, I paid for it myself. When I fractured my ankle, my father refused to take me to the doctor.

He told me straight out that unlike my mother, he will never tell me he can't afford it; he simply didn't think it was spending money on. I guess the $20 dollar co-pay was too much.

Years later dragged my own ass down to the ER for a fracture that happened when I was about 12. At 20, it finally chipped into my tendons since left untreated; I wound up in surgery and finally learned that I did have health insurance after all. Two years after that, I developed an extremely rare spinal condition that baffled the some of the neurologists and orthopedists in the country.

I applied as a clinic case to access to the National Spine Network for free. I lived in constant severe and disabling physical pain for most of my adult life. I developed severe OCD and PTSD after spending so many years under public and government investigations into MY financial records. The personal attacks were completely inappropriate, and many people simply assumed I must be delusional or psychotic for making up such a crazy story about such a well respected Harvard Lawyer.

After being homeless or the last 6 months because he refused to disburse my SSI income in a timely fashion, I decided to Tweet my way to freedom.

I want due process. I want due diligence, and I hope somebody out there might actually DO DILIGENCE for me and help me find a way to support myself and have HIM removed from as my financial representative through Social Security. Please help if you can. I deserve a chance to be free. I deserve a chance to be m.e.

It is October 7th. My deadline was May 8, 2008. I am requesting any all legal and social service workers to PLEASE come forward TODAY! I can't be homeless. I already feel homeless at home.
Btw... I now have a criminal record, as of yesterday. TYVM for adding that expired registration ticket onto my otherwise clean criminal background. I need transportation, printer, fax or internet access, and a decent CALM person to do the impossible. Let me live have a place to call home.

I can work if I can get through this, I want a job. I deserve a chance to use my experience to help get someone, anyone, the type of crisis & cm services needed to navigate this disconnected network of “services" Please help me with anything! Just please don't ignore me. This can be managed before it becomes a crisis!

I HAVE AUTO INSURANCE! Unfortunately, now I have expired tags. I need to update my voter registration, DL, and DHS files, and apparently my SSA since my fad never bothered to change my address after he told me it was done last month. I have no printer since the Dabbs people managed to leave all three outside in the pouring rain. Internet, fax, *signed letters of support* on my behalf.

PLEASE FWD ANY LETTERS OF SUPPORT TO:


I can't drive, now that my tags are overdue and my license was suspended yesterday since I could not print out proof of insurance.

It was emailed to the Dabbs computer. The landlord decided to unplug MY router. All were mailed to the wrong address (including my recertification for SSI, TennCare subrogation notices, MDHA app, and my DHS letter cutting off my benefits including food stamps & TennCare Someone do something, PLEASE! How many times must I say, "My name is Elyssa. I live in Nashville, TN. Please make a note of it"

Let me give back the taxpayers something more than additional fees to care for my sorry ass excuse a life. They have to pay all of it no matter how you look at it. Unless you help me get a job...
#justsayin


Elyssa Durant
Homeless at Home

Thursday, October 8, 2009

DEEPLINKS: NOW PUBLIC METRO NASHVILLE FAIR HOUSING

the problem is see here is, of course, a pattern...

NOTE: THIS WAS WRITTEN ON A CELL PHONE SINCE IT WAS ALL I HAD.  IN FACT, THAT IS HOW I FOUND THE HUD GRANT THAT ALLOWED ME TO FIND MY WAY INTO HOUSING I COULD AFFORD IN METRO NASHVILLE.  AS IT TURNS OUT... WELL, I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED [eds. 4/16/2012]


---------- Forwarded message ----------


From: Tracey McCartney



Date: Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:36:09 -0500



Subject: Re: 7/6/2009 - Rep. Watson Lists New State Laws That Went Into Effect July 1 - Breaking News - Chattanoogan.com

Ms. Durant:

Charmaine is no longer working here (her e-mail is forwarding to me).
There's probably no good reason for you to copy us on this matter of
storage of your belongings, because it falls outside the scope of what
we do here. I did fax a letter over to Pat Clark and Vanessa Jordan at
MDHA asking them to send you another set of paperwork and for more time
to fill it out.



Tracey McCartney
Tennessee Fair Housing Council


So basically, when a case mgr leaves, your file does not get
transferred, it is simply closed or abandoned?

This also happened to me at OCA (according to Willis Farris, Legal
Aid, MDHA, Metro AFS/Crisis Homeless Prevention, Crisis Intervention,
MHC MANY TIMES, DHS and the DLAC (when it was still TPA)

No wonder nothing gets resolved. Heard on appeal, or resolved. Social Security, TennCare Appeals Unit, the DLAC all did the same exact thing.

I think we have a problem with case file mgmt, txr, and transitioning
into ANY system of care. Seamless has no relevance here since these
more like road blocks than seamless or transitional services .

No follow up, no appeal, no re-application option, no closure, no
resolution appeals, or follow up. No wonder I'm spinning my wheels.

I would like to know why my case can not be transferred to another
advocate, or transferred to another agency.

Of course it makes more sense to keep it within the same agency, to
maintain consistency and avoid time delays with appeals, releases and authorizations; but instead files are simply closed.

And I am always the last to know.

This woman clearly could have at least called out of courtesy OR
realized that Ms. Duncan WAS my coordinating communications with MDHA since I have found it difficult to get a response.

Even worse, it is NOT an MDHA issue. It makes things more complicated or me since they now have informal, incorrect information assessment from my old landlord and the three crazy ladies who I was forced toshare an address with. Furthermore, I still don't have any more information about my finances and benefits because Social Security and my advocate also dropped the ball.

The woman who sent this email, deserves a big , FUVM.

MDHA has already disputed my eligibility since I simply don't have
what I need to fill out their paperwork within the Ten Days permitted.

They very well may close my file today.

I contacted Liz at Legal Aid, and she told my father has to mail me
money to hire a lawyer. She actually refused to make a referral for
probono or other legal advocates for people with disabilities.

She never even sent me a denial letter, or a appeal options. In fact,
they neglected to read their own policy regarding open cases.

I never heard back from Erik Cole, John Wood, or Adult and Family
Services, Crisis Intervention, Metro Homeless Prevention, or anyone at the ADA hotline. I hear nothing from anyone about anything. Why bother creating programs if no one is there to run them.

Discrimination in Metro must address all of Metro. Constituents, programs, employment and private religious charities. Even the Jewish Federation turned me down for counseling.

They spent three months verifying their the primary criteria for eligibility. They had two questions, one: are you Jewish, and, two: can you prove it?

Seems like funding the JCC with benefits to the #homeless was not best idea Councilman Briley ever had. But I sure wish his wifi bill
had passed.

Homeless Prevention Programs must realize how difficult it is to
maintain any stability.  Especially a mailing address.  All I have a website, and I can't even buy the domain.

Regarding the official reason services are being denied appears to be
more a social judgment from what I've seen, observed, and read online. To deny services based upon my parents income is absurd and ridiculous.

Perhaps they need a refresher course in Family Law and Benefits.
Perhaps professor Rubenstein or the Employee Benefits Research Association to explain how these things work.

Can they actually refuse to furnish me with an application as they
deny services, without a formal application. At least allowing me to
apply or appeal since the fine print on their contract states they
will represent me in any future disputes (the same case was thrown out in 2006) since the current dispute is result from the same case, Liz deserves a very enthusiastic FYVM as well.

A CLE course in Labor & Employment law is definitely in order, so Ms. Liz, keeper of all pro bono lists, referrals, and the only person I was told makes decisions regarding intake should be a little more embarrassed than sh made me feel.   That is why people hate lawyers: they are so damn arrogant.
 
So if Ms.Liz,director, gatekeeper, and arrogant bitch, ever responds to my request made via Councilman Cole and TALS to find out the official grounds for denying my request for Legal Aid Services, I would be happy to go over there and tell her straight up wat I think.

Any public interest lawyer who doesn't get the concept of the buzz words sucj as Termination of Parental Rights,  clearly needs a lesson from a welfare little brat like me.

There are very few reasons child custody files get sealed in what should be public  record. Support orders don't get terminated before the age of majority except under extraordinary circumstances. 

 

The fact tha I am will be 37 in 3 weeks, and even I can't get a copy, gives you some idea of what is so bad, that even now the courts will not give ME a copy of my own custody file.


Yes, Harvard Lawyers have secrets. Federally appointed judges, sometimes go to extremes to hide them.

It may be funny to all you fucktards who make jokes about the Jewish people on welfare, but it is unprofessional to say it on a conference call. 

Yes, terminated at August 15, 1988.  So anyone who thinks I'm the sweet little girl Daddy loves to spoil, think again.

If you want money from my parents, you will have ask them yourself.



Please don't push me on this. I've been on my own financially since I statrted working full time on my 14th birthday. Locked out and discarded the summer my mother started dating a man who just happened to live on W72nd & CPW. Yes, the Rock -n-roll roll style was a hell of a lot more interesting than having a 14 year old   who smoked the pot my mother was growng on the balcony.

So I worked full time to so I could eat at work (The Barge had really good lobster!) pay for clothing, because mom couldn't afford to buy me any. And when I needed to go on birth control, I paid for it myself. When I fractured my ankle, my father refused to take me to the doctor. 

He told me straight out that unlike my mother, he will never  tell me he can't afford it, he simply didn't think it was spending money on. I guess the $20 dollar copay was too much.

Years later dragged my own ass down to the ER for a fracture that happened when I was about 12.  At 20, it finally chipped into my tendons since left untreated, I wound up in surgery and finally learned that I did have health insurance after all.  Two years after that, I  developed an extremely rare spinal condition that baffled the some of the neurologists and orthopaedists in the country.

I applied as a clinic case to access to the Nat'l Spine Network for free. I lived in constant severe and disabling physical pain for most of my adult life. I developed severe OCD, and PTSD after spending so many years under public and govt investigations into MY financial records. The personal attacks were completely inappropriate, and many people simply assumed I must be delusional or psychotic for making up such a crazy story about such a well respected Harvard Lawyer.

After being homeless or the last 6 months because he refused to disburse my SSI income in a timely fashion, I decided to Tweet my way to freedom.

I want due process. I want due diligence, and I hope somebody out there might actually DO DILIGENCE for me and help me find a way to support myself and have HIM removed from as my financial representative through Social Security.

Please help if you can. I deserve a chance to be free. I deserve a chance to be m.e.



It is October 7th. My deadline was May 8, 2008. I am requesting any
and all legal and social service workers to PLEASE come forward
TODAY!



I can't be homeless. I already feel homeless at at home.




Btw... I now have a criminal record, as of yesterday. TYVM for adding that expired registration ticket onto my otherwise clean criminal background.



I need transportation, printer, fax or Internet access, and a decent  CALM person to do the impossible. Let me live have a place to
call home.



I can work if I can get through this, I want a job. I deserve a
chance to use my experience to help get someone, anyone, the type of
crisis & cm services needed to navigate this disconnected network of"services"



Please help me with anything! Just please don't ignore me. This can be managed before it becomes a crisis!



I HAVE AUTO INSURANCE but expired tags. I need to update my voter registration, DL, and DHS files, and apparently my SSA since my father never bothered to change my address after he told me it was done last moth.


I have no printer since the Dabbs ppl managed to leave all three outside in the pouring rain.  Internet, fax, *signed letters of support* on my behalf.



PLEASE FWD ANY LETTERS OF SUPPORT TO:






I can't drive, now that my tags are overdue and my license was
suspended yesterday since I could not print out proof of insurance.



It was emailed to the Dabbs computer. The landlord decided to unplug MY router.



All was mailed to the wrong address (including my recert for SSI,
TennCare subrogation notices, MDHA app, and my my DHS letter cutting off my benefits including food stamps & TennCare .



Someone do something, PLEASE! How many times must I say, "my name is Elyssa. I live in Nashville, TN. Please make a note of it"



Let me give back the taxpayers something more than additional fees
to care for my sorry ass excuse a life.



They have to pay all of it no matter how you look at it. Unless you
help me get a job...

 #justsayin

Elyssa Durant
Homeless at Home





..asleep at the wheel.... 2 b cotinued


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dedicated to The Lost


Dedicated to The Lost




Having worked for a private foster care agency (profit-driven) company contracted by the Department of Children's Services through the State of Tennessee, I would like to share what I've learned through my experience working with older adolescents reaching the age of majority-18-who are being released from state custody with the Department of Children's Services.

One child, now twenty, is pregnant and moves from place to place every few days or so (photos attached). When I first got her case, 5 years or so ago, she had concrete goals, dreams and aspirations. She had hope. She wanted to go to college. Now, today, she is homeless, pregnant, and has been without services since the day (and I do mean day!) she turned 18. (Pictures of her currrent "home" are posted next to this article.)

On her 18th birthday, Ms. DB was dropped off at a Food Lion parking lot in Gallatin, TN without any money, clothing, food, healthcare, benefits, e.g., food stamps, transportation and no where to go. She was on her own with a 10th grade education and no GED.

Cody G is a young man who was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 19, shortly after leaving custody. He was denied TennCare 4 times before I made the decision to get involved at any cost. Like all of my other former DCS clients (at least those who have contacted me over the years) CG is also chronically homeless, unemployable, and has only a 10th grade education, epilepsy, and a mental illness. He TennCare is ending 3/31/2008-not quite enough time to plan and execute the brain surgery he needs to help him live a relatively normal life...


I'm still involved, but tomorrow I will turn his case file over to two new case managers and hope that they can keep up the pace. I have to let go. I can't pay my internet bill!

I hope and pray that all of the hard work I have put into his case: applying for benefits, social security, Medicaid, Food Stamps, even a library card and a voter registration card (which are a dime a dozen in this town; Nashville, TN; these days) so that he can get the brain surgery and medical treatment he needs and deserves does not get lost when I go back to work next week. I have assured him that I will not abandon him like everyone else in the past-besides, I hold his history-his memory-his voter registration, TennCare and Social Security cards[1].

These children and young adults (DB, CG, CW, and CB) and a few other exceptional children left an imprint on my heart long after I left my position with the Department of Children's Services...

After leaving the private (contract) agency I was working for, it took a very long time for me to decide whether I should continue in the field of social services for children. You see, I was under the impression that foster care was about children. Wrong.

Unfortunately, I came to realize that it was more about money than children. Private agencies pay barely there, barely trained "people" upwards of $40-60/day per child tax-free. One foster parent I worked with kept ten children in a four-bedroom home in Madison. She also kept chains on the refrigerator door so the children wouldn't eat too much food. Another family had multiple complaints of sexual assault filed against them, but those complaints were mysteriously absent from my case file when I left the agency. As was my actual signature on my case reports-they didn't even try to color between the lines when falsified my records with white out. Who can be that lazy? Who can be that reckless? Who can be that person?


I was deeply saddened by this realization because I was unsure what to do with the information I had acquired throughout the years. However, at this point in my life, I do feel that I have some ethical obligation to either speak out or take action to work towards resolving the systemic problems in the privatized foster care environment.



I came to the realization that I may be able to use my own voice to speak for the children who have been repeatedly silenced by our society: our schools, our courts, our social service system, and the adults they relied upon to have their most basic needs met.

 

DB and CG speak openly with me about anything and everything.  It took them a while, but after working with them so closely for seven years (I do not get paid or reimursed for any off the services, or expenses when trying to get thmem the help they need) Their willingness to meet with people and discuss their experience while in the custody of the children's services was a n opportunity to change the system.

Focx News knew within minutes of several of these situations. The reporter told me he didn't have tome t bothered. Well Fuck you too, Sky.  You wouldn't know a decent story when it was in front of your face.

However, if you believe (like I do) that sharing these stories (albeit anecdotal) may ultimately lead to profound changes and reform within the foster care system, then I am quite certain my former clients would be more than willing to speak with anyone who has the capacity to make things better for their natural and foster siblings still in the system, I do not see a problem so long as we can create a space where they can speak freely without fear of repercussions.

DB is not alone in her experience, and for whatever reason, these children seem to feel comfortable sharing their stories with me. They know the ttruth about me that I never revealed until recently....that I too was one of the lost.




There is another young man, Cody G, who is an incredibly gifted writer that deserves to be heard and recognized. Much like DB, he has experienced a great deal of difficulty finding stable living arrangements once discharged from DCS custody. Because he was constantly in motion, moving from place to place to place-- I agreed to hold onto his personal journals documenting his experience in DCS.


His voice deserves to be heard along with a chorus of others! Some of these children develop such fascinating ways to cope with the pain, the isolation and the abandonment issues they grow up with, and I try to do the best I can to steer them in the right direction.


Talent such as Cody's and perseverance like DB's should be revered, celebrated, respected, and validated-- not thrown away or ignored..


Foster care is mess. What happens next is a complete and utter tragedy. I hope you are deeply disturbed by the contents of this letter-if so-my job is done for the day!


Let your voice be heard-- contact your representatives, the press!

Shout it from the rooftops if you need to: I did.

This despicable state of affairs and this not so well hidden secret about privatized foster care in the state of Tennessee must come to an end!



The Leaveless Plant  by Cody Gambill© 2006


I am a plant without any roots
I bring no syrup I bear no fruits
I am not much to look at without any flowers
All I do is sit and stare for hours


Every so often, I wander off to find a new spot
Feeling no attachment to anything I've got
Every time I move, I lose a leaf or two
But no one will notice because here I am new
After moving a while, I look down to see
How oblivious I am to my nudity


All of my moving has shaken me bare
Embarrassed and all I ignore the stares
But the more I think the better I feel
Because the leaves from me provided a meal
So I am important like all on this earth
Think I'll settle down and show this world what I'm worth




And this is how DB lives: Pregnant at age 20:




The bathtub.
No door.
No curtain.



The sink.


The mold.


The baby...






[1] I must give kudos to Judge Dan Eisenstein from the Mental Health Court of Davidson County who has paved the way to make getting CG Transitional Services as he ventures out into the world alone-if only I could get reimbursed for my time! Judge Eisenstein is untraditional, compassionate, and by far the most client-centered Judge I have ever had the honor of working with, no matter how briefly. Judge Eisenstein is paving the road for CG to have a chance-a chance at a future-a chance at a life-- a real one-free from Grand Mal seizures, self-injury, hypomania, rapid cycling, and suicidal ideations.


I also would like to express my gratitude to The Tennessee Justice Center, Tony Garr of the Tennessee Health Care Campaign, Lane Simpson, and Dave Aguzzi with the Department of Children's Services who are helping CG get transitional living services so he can get the care and treatment he did not receive while in custody. Kim Crane (from the Vanderbilt Center for Child & Family Policy Center) has also been instrumental in serving as a liaison with Transitional Youth Programs and helped me get connected to the right people and programs efficiently and effectively. Thanks to you all!.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Snapshot of my mind: KrAzY is my excuse... What is yours?

Reality Bytes: Better?

COINTELPRO: Open Records, Under Fire.

SEVERE CONTENT WARNING: THIS CONTAINS WITNESS REPORTS AND DETAILED FIRST HAND ACCOUNTS OF THE WAR AGAINST BLACK AMERICA.  VIOLENCE, DEATH, AND GOVT ABUSE THAT IS UNSEALED.


The APPEAL (ref to previous post..... ) had given me for the thirteen months I actually believed somebody was listening. WRONG AGAIN! That false strength I kept in reserve to keep going was the part of me that needed to believe that I haven't lost everything. It gave a false sense that somebody was actually listening.



I WAS WRONG.... THE APPEAL WAS NEVER REVIEWED. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO GIVE A DAMN THAT THIRTEEN MONTHS HAVE PASSED, AND MY BENEFITS ARE MORE SCREWED UP THAN EVER!

So listen carefully, my friends. It was not too long ago that I had almost everything a young person needs to succeed in this world.


Or maybe not.

As for my most current insurance dispute... I feel that I have done everything humanly possible to be sympathetic towards health care provider who is NOT providing care. I cannot sacrifice my own well being for every bright eyed bushy tailed wanna be who is too stupid to see that I am far from.


I had such a battle this week. It culminated in the end like every other battle I have taken on. I only won because ultimately but we are all losing.

For every underqualified, health care provider who has NOT provided the adequate, there are many more like me. Alienated just enough to give up on fashion, etiquette and social norms; but not enough to walk away from it all.
We are keeping watch. We are taking names, and I for one do not give a rat's ass about "keeping the peace."

Having been on both sides if the proverbial couch, I have the perspective is both enlightening and scary at the same time.

I look back and want to say shout "told you so" from the nearest roof top.

Crazy is crazy does... out loud. I may be enjoying this just a little too much.


Sometimes I try to look at this fight, (I meant to say this life) objectively.

I can see my own future, and I can see where it is taking me. I know how it will end if I don't keep up the pace.


It is amazing at how far we will go to have nothing at all.


I have come this far, and on some level I almost enjoy the dance. No. On some level, I actually love the dance.


But then there are days like this.

Because without this turmoil, this exercise in futility, absurdity, government waste, bureaucracy, irreverent disregard for basic human kindness, decency and humanity-- and all long to go to the kind of place I hear about from @Dreamon51.


He speaks of a place called Neverland.  You see, I don't know the story of Peter Pan, Captain Hook, and I have no idea who Wendy is. Of course I've heard of Tink (though I hear she is a pain in the ass ;) but only because I like glitter pens and fairy dust. I don't know these things, because I don't know the innocence, the purity, the make believe world of childhood. I never had one.

I knew cruelty... and though I am not cruel, this is who I am at this very moment: Dark, discouraged, and deeply disappointed.



What if this is all that there is for me? What if I can never break free from this cycle of insanity? 

The insanity that surrounds me... I do know the difference,  and the insanity I speak of is NOT in my head. We have all heard the expression insanity is the sane response to insane surroundings; let me assure that there are very few case studies that rival mine.

I am the stuff psychologists, sociologists, and the occult speak of behind closed doors. My sister and I were raised this way. She went one way, I went the other. She may be a lawyer, she may have good credit, she may have a lot of things, but she paid dearly as well. And she hates me for it. 

While my father took me to see the same shrink that treated Danton, Milken, Shore, Shapiro, and more; he took her to see a psychiatrist who specialized in serial killers.


So I wonder, and you should too... did he take us there to be healed or did he take us there to create our futures? I will never be good enough for him. Thank god jesus allah and the power invested in this little stupid fucking brain of mine!  His vision of us, his vision of U.S. is wrong.

I know this now. I didn't know then. I have proof now. Of course now that I hardly need it.

It is all out in the open and I am glad. Never again should the FBI create hatred, fear, ficticious wars and children like me.

Men so indoctrinated through programs like COINTELLPRO and by power that they have such little regard for human life that they treat their children the same way they treated John Africa and the thirteen members of MOVE the day the Powers That Beat decided it was long overdue to take John Africa out. So what if thirteen people died with him... who cares about the 5 children who died alog with him?

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don't need no water let the mother fucker burn,  Burn, mother fucker, burn. 

And they did.  And they died. May 13, 1985.

Burned forever in my mind, and it should be in yours too. OUR COUNTRY. OUR PEOPLE. OUR GOVERNMENT.

FUCK YOU AMERICA! FUCK THE US FOR FUCKING US ALL!  And thank you daddy, for letting mw in on the secret.  Now what? 

What else would call if not the City of Brotherly Love?


I do. Because my daddy told me to shoot them ya know... just in case. Daddy lost his first and only trial and the CITY of Philadelphia decided it was time to take him out.


No. I won't give up now. I could be next! (As I laugh my fucking ass off!!!!!)

What if I have nothing left? What if the Hook does NOT bring me back?

This demonstration and project in futility and determination has defined me for so long, that without it, I'm not sure if I am anything at all.

fuck that... yeah... Reality Bytes. But I won't play dead, and I won't pretend my name is not Elyssa Danielle Durant. My Daddy changed his, my gold-digging bitch of a mother changed her name 5 times, now with $250K invested in it, her face and her body are quite lovely too.



Mumia is STILL on death row. The 39th District is corrupt to the core. The MAYOR dropped the bomb. May 13, 1985. No longer sealed, and I am no longer hiding, Now I know, why my life stopped when it was about to start. I know the truth, and the feds know I'm certifiable. So you decide...




~~~~~this where I must break~~~ all in due time my friends~~~~




I can't lose what I never had. I won’t be another sell-out... mostly because I don't know how.


I am then the voice of perseverance. I am one voice of perseverance. I am one of 47 million Americans. And today I am I am still fighting the good fight.


This battle; this challenge; this half won war this fight has come to define me. And without that, I am not really much of anything at all...


As someone once told me, if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. I've already fallen, but I sure as shit stand for something.



"...so for now, I write. Maybe later read.  I am always listening. But if there is any justice left in this world, maybe someday, I might actually live."


That's a;; for now, folks. I think I'll tweet a bit.  I think I've earned it the right to play a little.  Can't go anywhere anyway.  License suspended (thanks again dad! You can manage to moved 1.3 million dollars into two separate trusts within one hour of TRO, but you it takes 22 days to hand over the $4.50 I needed to avoid eviction and 6 months homelessness?)  

You must be so proud. I'm finally doing you ordered me to do long ago. Fighting for myself, because you made it clear you will never do it for me.  Lesson learned. Bring it on. Again.  This time I know what to expect.


[Parts previously posted at United Professionals under: An Appalling Appeal]