did i stutter...?
this is personal, but it one of the things that disturbs me the most. i have a hearing coming up on April 22, 2010. i have no doubt in my mind that this will generate more questions since legal aid and even people i thought were my "friends" have refused to accept one simple fact... that everyone is asking the WRONG question.
it does not matter WHO breaks the law. most people are murder or abused by some they knew... a family friend or relative. so i have accepted the fact that i will go in a lone, as usual, and that any decision will ultimately be reversed within days... that record will likely "disappear" like all the rest. so yeah... parents can be toxic.
and if they can be toxic their own children, what does that say when they are in a position to be toxic to our culture, our history, our society.
so, yes, i'm prepared. i am prepared only because i have expectations that anything substantial change. because history and recent events and knowledge have shown me otherwise.
so i will be living on less than $600 per month for the rest of my life. and i can be at peace with that if i could trust that things would remain stable. But they change day to day “'mysteriously" and no matter what i say or how loud i scream, nobody has stepped up to the plate legally to say, "this" [meaning, me, Elyssa] is a human being that is entitled to one basic human right. The right to be seen as human being rather than a human doing.
yes, i am sad. but i am resolved, and i am resigned.
#listening ironically to "Peter Gabriel, Don't Give Up" in the next room. but my friends are virtual because apparently i inherent the toxicity from my parents so my community have remains silent. and my world is silent. and i am trapped. i am very much in prison. and my tears are natural, and my anger justified. so please, give me this much... don't ask if you don't want to know the answer.
goodbye for now... my pain is physical, and i am hoping my tears may heal for just a few minutes and soothe my soul.
.::Anti-Racist Action::. Always on the Prowl...